Fighting every ounce of me to not test by watching lesbian porn. I saw some picture of girls hugging in a bikini and I kept thinking if they’re naked would I like that? Could I hug my friends in a bikini! And I got a super strong groinal and ick. I just feel like such crap. I do not want to get with women, but what if I did it and loved it and left my husband bc our sex life isn’t great? I hate this so much.

I hate it. It’s just a girl taking a topless selfie why does that turn me on I hate it so much. I just want to stop this all.

@wellwellwell I completely understand. I hated it too. Part of the reason it’s happening is because this is what your OCD theme is. It has latched onto this and it will heighten your responses to sexual content, specifically of the same sex. It makes you hyper aware of things that you never would have really noticed it. It’s all a part of the physical OCD stress response.

I don’t get aroused by sex with my husband I just cry

@wellwellwell you’re just so stressed out honey it’s not a big deal i’ve been there

@Bryan I hate that some random picture of a girl turned me on

@wellwellwell lesbian fantasies (not about girls i know) turn me on and i think the best thing is to accept it turned you on and just observe your feelings. that’s how i got over the hump of being in denial about masturbating to lesbian fantasies even if they aren’t voluntary. not saying YOURE in denial about anything i hope you understand what i’m saying lol

@Bryan I don’t want to lay with my husband feeling this way

@Bryan I want to be okay with it I don’t like when the girls have faces that weirds me out I just feel gross

@Bryan Thank you for your kindness @Bryan

@holley what do you mean by lesbian fantasies? like just masturbating to womens bodies or like fantasizing about actually having sex with them?

@lolashewas I can only speak for myself in that sexualized images of women do elicit arousal for me, but no I don’t have fantasies about being with women.

@lolashewas both

@holley but it’s not a woman i know in real life it’s just imaginary unknown woman

Yes I’ll be seeing him again on the 5th

@wellwellwell Good! I would say don’t do anything to check. That is a compulsion. I got myself stuck checking gay porn. First time I was super stressed out and very very turned off. Not much has changed, but my head is all foggy and I can’t tell anymore. I just want to be with my gf, but it is tough.

@nGfloat I’m just concerned bc I wasn’t turned off which i wish I was