My TOCD is acting up again... Please note: I'm a gay man, and I'm perfectly fine with it. But for whatever reason my brain takes the trans OCD theme. I was triggered by a video on TikTok where a transgender girl had a "question" for gay men (which is me) if they walked into a club who they would be most attracted to in a "ranked" order. Since she is MTF, she still has male genitalia and was wondering if gay men were attracted to her. The video then showed pictures of Shawn Mendes, Ronaldo, among other men. And then showed the transgender girl. Naturally, I would just buzz this off as another random thing. My OCD has switched themes multiple times, but this theme seems to be coming back after a couple months without it. I thought to myself if I was attracted to this trans girl, and naturally I reasoned with "oh well, who cares, so what if I am attracted to her" until my OCD stepped in. For whatever reason, my brain thinks this means I actually want to be a girl? Maybe it's just reminding me of the thought that caused me to spiral in the first place. It's not nearly as bad as other TOCD thoughts because it's clearly irrational and my brain is kind of being stupid for it, and I can realize that it can't be reasoned with. But I can't really seem to just buzz it off. Does anyone else get thoughts that don't cause end-of-the-world anxiety but are still kind of annoying and might have a deeper root than you thought they would?

Sexual Orientation OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

Ugh good old Tik Tok, it causes daily triggers for me 🙄 I don't have your theme, mine is about sexual orientation. I have felt this exact same way but about different content! It sounds like you had a good whatever response to the OCD but then it tried to hook you and make the thought important. This has happened to me when I'm doing a little better and then I start worrying if the thought will make me spiral or I just can't get rid of it. Also worrying why I had the thought or connecting it to something else. I think you did good in the beginning and try to continue with being uncertain. Sometimes I have to keep redirecting myself over and over. If I keep doing it, it does eventually stop.

struggling b...

Date posted: 4y

YES! I worry so much about spiraling about a thought now that it basically ends up making me spiral. I've been seeking CBT which has actually really helped me to be able to take the feelings out of the situation and just focus on my thoughts, but the thoughts are still there and bug me. I guess I'm just terrified of falling down the rabbit hole again because it wrecked everything for me.

Unknown

Date posted: 4y

Ik this is reassurance seeking and bad but can you share how you knew you were gay. I’m plagued with doubting my sexual orientation even tho for 27 years I could have sworn I was straight as an arrow. Now I’m constantly confused if I’m gay or not. And scared this is not ocd

struggling b...

Date posted: 4y

well. because I'm gay AND suffer from tocd I can tell the clear difference between discovering your sexuality and your brain forcing you to be who you don't wanna be. I basically knew I liked boys around age 8 or 9, but I didn't know what gay meant until about age 11. as soon as I knew it, it felt right to me. with tocd the immediate thought made me feel like the world was ending. all I'm saying is it should feel right to you if it's really who you are, without your brain tricking you into believing it.

struggling b...

Date posted: 4y

@anonymous1245 just know you are not your thoughts

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