- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Yep I know exactly how you feel. I remember one night in July last year, I sat on my bed and just thought so much about life and how weird it is and I got so much anxiety. Even just going downstairs later that night felt off. And the thing about repeating a word until it loses its meaning is so true in relation to existential OCD! I guess you just have to accept uncertainty (which is so frequently said but so important). If life really is just a crazy paradox of weird shit, so be it. It doesn’t affect you unless you let it. Just live in the moment and try to shrink your widening mind to the simple stuff. It’s a little naive but it worked for me!
- Date posted
- 6y
I get you. Like you know what you NEED to think but it’s hard to actually believe it. But I promise you, you’ll get there. When I had it, I had no idea what OCD was so it was a strange part of my life. And I didn’t think I’d get out of it but I did, and so will you :)
- Date posted
- 6y
You might be experiencing derelazaion and depersonalization along with exsistenital ocd
- Date posted
- 6y
I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND THIS. I’ve been dealing with these thoughts for a lil bit and it’s terrifying but your not alone ?it’s okay to have these thoughts and that’s what they are... just thoughts, not real. Reality is reality( and even though we both probably don’t understand that lol) we just gotta live it. IK how hard it is tho. Makes you wanna curl up in a ball and just cry, and IK it’s easier said than done but if you do something active like go for a walk or watch a comedy show it might help get your mind off it. Much love <3
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you, Eden!! I guess suffering from derealization doesn’t help hahaha I need to remind myself that OCD is lying to me, as it does with everything. I don’t need to understand reality, I just have to live (it’s so hard to believe this)
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you so much!!!! You guys are so nice. And yes, I suffer from derealization since I was a child, @moeg!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
I can't live with OCD anymore. It's ruining my life. I feel like I'm being constantly bullied in my own mind all day everyday. I don't know if what I think and feel is ever real or normal or okay, what is me and what is the OCD thoughts. I don't know if any of my experiences are normal. I'm exhausted from picking apart every single conversation I ever have with anyone until I'm strung out by a vague and ambiguous feeling of guilt. I'm tired of feeling like I'm a bad person and feeling scared all the time and not knowing why and having my brain spin me out on an endless spiralling train of thoughts that never goes anywhere and just makes me feel disconnected from everything and everyone around me. I don't know what I feel and if what I feel is normal or if anything I am doing is real and actually me or if I'm 'losing my mind.' I don't even know if this makes any sense. I get into these states of mind where every thought in my head and everything I feel and perceive makes me question my own sanity. I don't know if anyone likes me because I have absolutely no concept of what I am actually like. I feel completely lost and confused CONSTANTLY.
- Date posted
- 15w
I want to rip out my uterus. Only my hormones can make my OCD and ability to manage it go back to square one. I am spiraling *so* hard. I cannot breathe. My PMDD is going crazy. I’m having a panic attack again. I feel so scared. The POCD is going absolutely insane right now. It feels undeniably real, and my mind keeps drifting to those awful thoughts and what feels like exploring them?? but I can’t for the life of me stop some of these compulsions right now. I was trying to watch something to get my mind off of this but ended up getting triggered twice, so my anxiety is a 10 and I can’t seem to calm down. This panic attack is tuned all the way up.
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- Date posted
- 12w
I know I am going a bit cuckoo because my period is coming up, but lately it feels like every intrusive thought I have, I *like* it. Like I genuinely feel like I like it, and then I immediately panic because I start checking. Mentally, emotionally, whatever it is. And I know that is a compulsion. I *know* that. But it feels so real that I cannot stop myself. Every single time I check, it still feels like I like the thought, and it is driving me absolutely insane. It is especially the POCD thoughts. They feel so real. I feel like something is going on mentally, like some kind of confusion or glitch, because I swear I was not like this before. I would have intrusive thoughts, and they would feel real, but not *this* real. And I do not even know if this is normal. I know OCD is **supposed** to feel convincing. That is the whole thing. But I have never experienced it to this extreme. I have never gotten the same thought so many times and still felt like, “Oh my God, I did enjoy it,” even after checking a million times. It is like no matter how many times I check, it feels like I liked it. Especially during intimacy :( and it is making me lose it. Then I start thinking, “Well, I am in distress, so maybe that is proof it is not actually me.” But right after, I am like, “What if I am only panicking because I care about what society thinks and not because I actually have morals?” And then I spiral again, wondering if maybe I just care about how I am seen rather than who I am. I am panicking so much no today. I had to take my Xanax today for the first time in two months, and I needed three separate doses. I really need some support right now.
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