I just had a moment of big panic because I keep having obsessions about reality and how is it possible that I’m able to perceive it. You know when you say a word out loud way too many times, and it starts losing its meaning and sounds weird? Same thing happens to me with reality. Sometimes it gets so intense, it makes me wanna vomit or feel like I’ll faint. I just don’t understand existence and everything feels so weird. I can’t get over it. This is my worst obsession :(

"Pure" OCD

garden

Date posted: 6y

Yep I know exactly how you feel. I remember one night in July last year, I sat on my bed and just thought so much about life and how weird it is and I got so much anxiety. Even just going downstairs later that night felt off. And the thing about repeating a word until it loses its meaning is so true in relation to existential OCD! I guess you just have to accept uncertainty (which is so frequently said but so important). If life really is just a crazy paradox of weird shit, so be it. It doesn’t affect you unless you let it. Just live in the moment and try to shrink your widening mind to the simple stuff. It’s a little naive but it worked for me!

garden

Date posted: 6y

I get you. Like you know what you NEED to think but it’s hard to actually believe it. But I promise you, you’ll get there. When I had it, I had no idea what OCD was so it was a strange part of my life. And I didn’t think I’d get out of it but I did, and so will you :)

moeg

Date posted: 6y

You might be experiencing derelazaion and depersonalization along with exsistenital ocd

xohelgawontwin

Date posted: 6y

I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND THIS. I’ve been dealing with these thoughts for a lil bit and it’s terrifying but your not alone ?it’s okay to have these thoughts and that’s what they are... just thoughts, not real. Reality is reality( and even though we both probably don’t understand that lol) we just gotta live it. IK how hard it is tho. Makes you wanna curl up in a ball and just cry, and IK it’s easier said than done but if you do something active like go for a walk or watch a comedy show it might help get your mind off it. Much love <3

mummers

Date posted: 6y

Thank you, Eden!! I guess suffering from derealization doesn’t help hahaha I need to remind myself that OCD is lying to me, as it does with everything. I don’t need to understand reality, I just have to live (it’s so hard to believe this)

mummers

Date posted: 6y

Thank you so much!!!! You guys are so nice. And yes, I suffer from derealization since I was a child, @moeg!

hellokitty1

Date posted: 23w

derealization

does anyone else get INTENSE derealization (it’s the worse for me when i wake up from a dream in the middle of the night) and it’s so bad that it genuinely feels like nothing is real, not even thoughts are real, consciousness is not real, what the heck are we doing on a floating ball in the middle of darkness?? i feel like im in a simulation or a dream. i hate it sm ive had it everyday for 5 years, but tbh im not surprised it hasn’t gotten better because I have gone through some traumatic things recently and have had bad mental health. hopefully it could get better soon idk.

frannyb

Date posted: 20w

I can't do this anymore

I can't live with OCD anymore. It's ruining my life. I feel like I'm being constantly bullied in my own mind all day everyday. I don't know if what I think and feel is ever real or normal or okay, what is me and what is the OCD thoughts. I don't know if any of my experiences are normal. I'm exhausted from picking apart every single conversation I ever have with anyone until I'm strung out by a vague and ambiguous feeling of guilt. I'm tired of feeling like I'm a bad person and feeling scared all the time and not knowing why and having my brain spin me out on an endless spiralling train of thoughts that never goes anywhere and just makes me feel disconnected from everything and everyone around me. I don't know what I feel and if what I feel is normal or if anything I am doing is real and actually me or if I'm 'losing my mind.' I don't even know if this makes any sense. I get into these states of mind where every thought in my head and everything I feel and perceive makes me question my own sanity. I don't know if anyone likes me because I have absolutely no concept of what I am actually like. I feel completely lost and confused CONSTANTLY.

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 20w

I don’t know what’s wrong

I can’t stop crying. My thoughts are going insane, they’re so fast I can’t keep up. I want to tell everyone around me what’s happening (my family doesn’t even know about my OCD). I can’t seem to resist compulsions today. I’m freaking out. I want to give up. I feel like I’m suffocating in whatever is going on. I feel like I need to go to a hospital. I don’t know how to ask for help. I don’t feel okay. I don’t understand this at all. It feels like I took some random drug. I’m really scared I’m sorry, I am so panicked. It’s embarrassing but I feel so desperate for help right now I feel crazy

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