Does anyone else do this: like I’ll reassure myself (I know, a compulsion, yikes!) and then immediately after I’ll go “well what if that’s wrong” or disagree with whatever reassured me. Or even if someone else is reassuring me the doubt is still there saying like, “well you’re hiding being bad from them so obviously they’d say that” or “they don’t know the real you” etc?? Anyone else discount reassurance even tho it helps??

I’m so sorry you go through that as well! OCD is evil :(

@anaserafina It's so hard to see what's real and what isn't because it's so hard to just focus on the present moment it's so fucking hard I just wish I could not think

@BigGip09 Yes I know exactly what you mean. My mom has told me “just stop thinking that” or reassured me before we knew better and I don’t think people understand how hard it is

@anaserafina It's never been hard before but because of the reaction I had ever since the first mistake I did, I just couldn't handle much anymore. No one else knows about this because they just won't understand it. No one outside this community as least. Then there's the fear of it not being OCD which is it wasn't I don't think I'd be thinking like this. I dunno..

@BigGip09 Yes the fear of it not being OCD is the worst as well! And yeah it’s a very isolating thing it feels like no one would understand, which is why this community is so nice

@anaserafina Thanks for being here with me :(:)

@BigGip09 Of course, hope you’re doing okay :)

@anaserafina Some days are better than others. The thoughts aren't as bothersome because I'm more busy and with others, but other times they are too much and they all feel real. Some of them might be due to real event but I just don't know for sure. I never can.

@BigGip09 I really relate to that! That uncertainty of everything can be the hardest aspect at times

@anaserafina Yeah. I just get uncertain about everything and I can't be truly happy because I feel like I don't deserve it because of something I might have done in the past. Or I may have hurt someone and I can't say sorry to them. Or I may have even committed a bad act and must be condemned for it. I always feel like this even when I try to work to not feeling like this.

@BigGip09 I FEEL LIKE THAT CONSTANTLY! Literally my thought process put into words. I feel like I don’t deserve to be happy, and when I am happy I feel guilty because “what if I hurt someone and forgot or didn’t realize” and it’s debilitating to try and remember everything

@anaserafina Yeah, I get that's it's all part of being human and not perfect but I feel like I might have really done something bad in my minor years but mostly when I interacted with other people all I did was mess up. Then if I try to make it seem like it's not so bad it's like I'm making excuses. I just don't know what to do

@BigGip09 Everything you’re saying I get immensely. I think the best way for us to improve is to accept our past mistakes, accepting that they are in the past for a reason, we can grow and learn from them. As for the things we don’t know 100% and are worried about, we must accept uncertainty. Easier said than done but hopefully we gain some kind of peace at some point

@anaserafina Yeah, hopefully. I'm more comfortable with the perspective that I'm just doing the best I can and I don't intend to hurt other people. I don't do the things I regret doing anymore, and I try my best just to stay out of any kind of trouble and find my reasons to keep going. Either that or try not to think too much

Even if it’s literally seconds after the compulsion? Simultaneous almost?

@anaserafina Yes a second, half a second or reassurence not working at all, all that is possible. 1 think you can be 100% sure of yes 100% not 99%, and that is that the relief from reassurance is inevitably gonna dissapear and replaced with more doubt and distress. Reasurance NEVER works for long

@starboiklem Gotcha that makes sense thank you!