Well I know the thoughts are still. They tell me you know you don’t love him or attracted to him anymore right? 😞😞

😭😭😭

I am so sorry to hear that 😭😞

I am scared bc what if I am too afraid to admit the truth? Can ROCD do that??

@Mandy7710 yeah

@abby I convinced myself I’m not in love with my partner 😭😭😭 now I feel so detached! 😭😭 I don’t wanna feel this way!

@Mandy7710 Totally normal for ROCD

@Mandy7710 That's what it does, you're stuck in the cycle

I’m sorry I am just so desperate right now.... 😞

@Mandy7710 dont be sorry we all do it, I'm just trying to get u to stop feeling the monster

@abby It’s hard bc I feel grossed out by kissing my partner when I loved kissing him all the time before this 😞 I don’t wanna end my relationship with him... I’ve been with my baby for 10 years now....

@Mandy7710 I know, it will be fine I promise, stop trying to feel something and just let it be for now, because the more u try to make yourself feel the less you will

@abby Thank you... 😞

@Mandy7710 just give him a cuddle and let it be,.allow the thoughts and feelings to come

@abby The thoughts seem to be calming down... then I think back when I had thoughts and I am like what if that was me the whole time... like I feel like I am not attracted to him when I find him super attractive and when I say things I hear lier! In my head... 😞 I cuddle with him a lot. I felt happy sometimes but I can’t feel anything.....

@Mandy7710 yeah that's because you're ruminating, you're stuck in the cycle

@abby I hope your right.... I want you to be right.. 😞

@Mandy7710 I am right, trust me

Mine too. I have rocd, soocd, just right ocd, existential ocd. And stage 4 cancer. Fun. Not.

No.... I never received help... I’m starting to believe it not ROCD anymore... but at the same time I know I love him... I can’t even touch my partner.... I been breaking down crying everyday for 5 months now.... I feel like if I get help it’ll prove to me I don’t love him anymore when I don’t want that to be true... I don’t want to love another man... I don’t wanna see him kiss someone else... I’m scared that my ocd or whatever this is transformed into wat I’m feeling now...

@Mandy7710 So you dont consider all the support and advice on here for help? If you dont have professional help you got to get it for yourself. Or help yourself. I dont mean to be harsh but all these posts seems compulsive. This is tormenting you and probably your bf too. He doesnt deserve it and neither does you. But its up to you if you want to keep suffering or if you want to start trying to get better. I have suggested Freedom from OCD by Jonathan Grayson. Its a great place to start. Listen to some podcasts. Get an appointment with your doctor. I know it seems like you cant do it. But you can. Please dont continue on not getting help or helping yourself, when you know you need it. It is harmful to both you and probably people around you.

@asdfghj I’m gonna buy the book.. I’m just... I’m so scared... I don’t wanna end things.. this feeling Detached feeling is too much for me... 😞 I feel like I am grossed out by him when I’m not... I can’t stop crying... I feel like I truly wanted to love him this would’ve went away already... 😞 I wouldn’t be depressed... I feel like my love won’t come back... I can’t even say nice things about him like everyone else can about their partners.... 😞 I know it’s depression but I don’t wanna be like this anymore... 😞

@Mandy7710 Not saying nice things about your partner is not a syptom of depression. But it may very well be a compulsion in OCD. I feel the same way about my partner. But I can let OCD rule my life. Im not saying its easy. But Im saying you do have a choice going forwards. Taking action. Or let things continue, with consequences coming to yourself and others. The expectations you have for a relationship is unrealistic. No person can make someone NOT depressed or NOT have OCD. No matter how much you love someone you wont just be cured from cancer, and neither from OCD. You are seeking reassurance on here, probably because your anxiety is so high. But does it work? You are coming back and back and back. It wont stop, until you break the cycle of compulsions.

@asdfghj My partner is amazing to me and I love him a lot for it. I really want my relationship to go back to normal... it just feels like I won’t go back to normal.... my partner has been so patient with me... I really feel off completely... 😞 my coworker told me saying it’s time to make a decision... I started crying saying I don’t wanna break up with my partner I love him and then the whole ride home I kept crying.... I want to love him like before.... 😞 I was so much happier then...

@Mandy7710 Don't listen to your coworker. Laypeople don't have a clue what ocd is.

@Mandy7710 I completely agree with your coworker. Its time to make a decision. You are letting OCD rule your life. Every day is dictated by the anxiety. I dont blame you, I have it like that as well. But the decision you ought to make is if you wanna continue down the rabbit hole of OCD every day or get the help you need and that your bf deserves that you get. You can choose to educate yourself and stand up to the compulsions. All this torment is OCD. Please choose doing the hard work to get better.