So my hocd makes me think of men all day and night thoughts telling me thats what i want. But in my dream last night i was dreaming about girls and it felt so good and right what is happening here ? 😞

Mate i know i literally cant think of anything worse

@Ihateocd83 Second day in a row that I was stuck in bed, got up to go work already annoyed and angry. Then I get a thought in the elevator on my way downstairs that got to me so bad that it felt like it was all over and it's all true. Then another one when I got to work. Its endless.

@Jbm421 Mate we cant let this beat us. Im watching football and its tough i just want to watch it without thoughts. Im getting his cute hes fit. And then i get an image of gentials etc.. ive had a shit day im not going to lie

@Ihateocd83 Same with me only with Basketball. But I can handle it. What I cant handle is the fucked up intrusive thoughts about guy's junk. Just randomly and it sets me off but even if I'm able to brush it a few minutes later i still feel stupid and terrible.

Dude I was good for almost a month but December has fucking sucked...

When I get like this, it's hard stay positive. I just cried for the first time in weeks.

@Jbm421 It pisses me of because I know I can beat it but my mind refuses to listen.

What we're supposed to do is not get rid of it but sit with it until it stops bothering us. But I've been failing at it lately.

@Jbm421 But mine seems constant and that im lieing to myself

@Jbm421 There are certain guys that it feels like i have feelings for on tele etc 😞. Do you get this ?

Mate im here if you need to talk. Your bounce back mate. Feels like real attraction. I keep imageing myself being with a guy and i getting a feeling like i want it 😞

Occasionally it goes to POCD or maybe TOCD. And I had relationship OCD when I was in one.

@Jbm421 Not sure if i have a little bit of pocd but i dont threat about it because i know it bollocks with this hocd i dont know if its true or not 😞

mind just tried to convince me. OCD lies. Always.

Dude, I just did 3 exposures in a row. (A "spike hunt" where I purposefully look at dudes and say things like "this is the guy who'll turn me" or "look, this is a good looking dude"; and I did 2 three minute exposures with pics of good looking or muscular dude). Cut my anxiety in half. Have you tried exposures???

Yes. But saying it in a sarcastic, mocking sort of way. Same thing with the pictures. The point of it is to trigger you and to stay with the trigger eventually you stop being bothered by the pics. The pictures barely get to me anymore.

Too much. It sucks. My problem with watching movies is that I torture myself. It's like if I'm not attracted to every female on screen, then that means I turned. 😫😫😫

@Jbm421 It's the loss of attraction and it sucks.

@Jbm421 I know im like shes nice then i doubt myself and think do i really think that. Then i get i wish it was a bloke in my head 🤷‍♂️

@Ihateocd83 Yeah. The trick is to not engage while it's there in your head. Just let it be there but dont give it the time of day.

@Jbm421 Do you get that kind of thing ?

Try this. When you get that thought, say to yourself "ok you're right." Or "cool, I'm glad". You disarm the thoughts. Its difficult but you can do it.

@Jbm421 Do you get these kind of thoughts mate ?

@Ihateocd83 Of course. That's why its important to try this. Try it if you can. It really helps. Just gotta be careful. The mind will throw up anything to get you obsessing again.

@Jbm421 Do you get thoughts without seeing a trigger etc ?

It's very easy to get into the mindset of "I feel like I'm the only one getting the thoughts" or "it's true for me but not anyone else." Just try doing something that gets your mind off yourself.

@Jbm421 Cheers buddy. Your a good man. Brighter days are ahead for you i promise 👍

@Ihateocd83 Thanks bro. And for you too. I just did my second to last exposure (gotta do one more before bed). Got a little triggered but that is to be expected. Of course the loss of attraction is killing me. Hopefully it comes back. 😥

Just did my last exposure to underwear models (it's what the lady I work with told me to use). Unpleasant but then you see how little it truly scares you.

@Jbm421 Ive woke up thinking of a certain gay guy does this happen to you ?

@Jbm421 What thoughts do you have when you look at them?

Another thing about mornings is I have broken sleep and I stay in bed to try to get extra sleep before work. But that's where my mind attacks the most.

It sucks because I gotta work today but I have no energy.

@Jbm421 Dude, all yesterday and all day today especially my mind has been stuck on loss of attraction and good looking dudes. A few days ago the good looking dude shit didnt even bother me. It was nothing. At least the exposures help.

All the time. Always commenting in my head. I really hate how far from the ladies this took me. I know it's all in my head. But it's just tough to get it out.

How u holding up bro?

Believe it bro. It's in your head. I had an up & down day too. About to finish work. I'm gonna keep busy. I'm gonna work out in the basement, go for a bike ride, got a few things to clean up. I will not live in fear.

Dont be. Not everyone has it the same (not to reassure you because we shouldn't do that). Just sit with the uncertainty. Dont try pushing the thoughts away. You'll be fine.

@Jbm421 Ok thanks mate. I remember when we started talking we basically had the same symptoms. I get like feelings i should be with a man aswel 😞

@Ihateocd83 The only difference between us is I have learned quite a bit on how to deal with the thoughts (despite the thoughts still trying to get at me constantly). I'm gonna tell you what my dad tells me (he's suffered from mental health issues as well), "Your fine. The moment you start to notice that, you'll realize how much bullshit this whole thing is. It's just a feeling. This too shall pass."

Lol ok mate

It hit me at 28 and I'm 38 now.

@Jbm421 I always ask "why this of all things?"

@Jbm421 I know mate. This is the worst thing to ever happen to me i get images of guys naked around my house i feel like this will be the death of me 😞

@Ihateocd83 You've had good periods throughout this thought right?

@Jbm421 Or when it got bad 4 months ago ?

Since 22.

@Jbm421 Yeah i have been able to shake this throughout this. But this seems worse i never had the whole penis thing since 37. Sometimes i feel like im hiding something 😞

@Ihateocd83 Dude, same. I've had "good" periods where I was very functional but I never shook it. And yeah the penis thing slowly crept in. It's all bullshit though.

We can rise above it though. Forgetting is impossible but making it not matter is possible.

Dont engage the thoughts.

Your mind is wandering and looking for anything to keep you obsessing.

Why am i noticeing men more than women and watching sex scenes is hard i get a feeling in my stomach and a feeling in my butt 😞

@Ihateocd83 Because you're focused on this crap. Porn is never a good thing to touch during this.

@Jbm421 It was just on tele mate

@Ihateocd83 On netflix

@Ihateocd83 Be very careful about what you watch. You shouldn't avoid but you should know that it has something triggering in it. Also, once again it's all about focus.

@Jbm421 Sometimes it feels like im enjoying the thoughts because i try and be happy 😞

@Ihateocd83 Dude, my thoughts got worse throughout the day. My mind snaps back to thoughts I had when I was a kid and that made me feel like I turned. I feel like crap as a result.

@Jbm421 The thoughts really hounded me all day bro.

@Jbm421 Do you ever think you look gay etc

@Ihateocd83 Or you are acting gay ?

@Ihateocd83 Yeah a few times I would feel like I looked gay. But I want to give you some advice. If you want to vent, cool. But try to not ask questions like this. Thats you seeking reassurance that others had this and reassurance will only make you want more reassurance. Just saying bro.

@Jbm421 Yeah i get that. I think ive fallen for the lies sometimes it feels like im already a bit gay

@Ihateocd83 I hear you bro. It's a terrible feeling. Funny thing with me is, I'm less afraid of dudes now days but my thoughts combined with loss of attraction (or just not being able to feel any random female) bothers me more.

@Jbm421 Yeah i dont want to stop loving women 😞

@Ihateocd83 I hear you bro. I'm stuck in bed, cant sleep. The moment I start fantasizing about chicks and I get a little excited my mind immediately makes me feel gay because of my own penis. This shit is fucked up and crazy.

@Jbm421 It makes me feel like im in denial. When i see i good looking guy i try and make a joke or say i wish i had his abs to counter act the thoughts

@Ihateocd83 That's actually good though

@Jbm421 But its like im attracted to them. And i think about guys ive seen on the tele etc ..

@Ihateocd83 And i comment in my head 😞

@Ihateocd83 That's because you are engaging the thoughts. Im stuck in bed, because I couldnt sleep well plus, my mind really hammered me over night.

Seriously, I feel like everything else would fall away if just had it back...

Of course. I'm at my sister's house and I've already been triggered twice. I'm doubting OCD again.

The simple fact that I let a dude trigger me like that is enough to make me feel like crap. And I just faced it down again and it wasn't that serious. I'm about to do some exposures. Maybe that will help.

Dude, do everything you can to do exposures. I have my rough periods but I try. I go to the gym, I'm at a party, I do picture exposures, spike hunts. It makes you see things as they are, not as you fear them to be.

That's the OCD trying to pull you back down...

Hope u have better new year bro!!!

You can beat it too bro.

Exercise definitely helps. I want you to know bro, at the end of the day these are all thoughts. That's it.

@Jbm421 Yeah my brain is defenetly not firing right. I just cant shake this feeling hanging over me i feel like im just auto piloting through life 😞

@Ihateocd83 Definitely on autopilot. But it's our overthinking that make us worse. Let's try this for an hour. Find something to do to occupy, get comfortable (pajamas or comfy clothes) and try to relax. Let anything that comes across your mind come and go no matter how bad it gets. Just let it be.

I hear ya bud. It's been giving me the shit for the past few hours. I've done that loads of times. It's a pain in the ass. My compulsive hair pulling on my beard started up. Gotta shave it off again. I didn't think my loss of attraction could go lower but obviously I was wrong. And if that isn't bad enough, my mind works on me when i see an old/older woman.

I know the feeling. I feel like this crap realizes when a certain aspect of this stops bothering me (more often that not depending on the mood I'm in) and it immediately goes back to loss of attraction. Its possibly the strongest part of this because it always comes back worse than before.

@Jbm421 Dude let me ask you, what do you do, watch or listen to when you want to/try to relax???

@Jbm421 I just said in my head when i get a boyfreind i was thinking of doing something with my son 😞

@Ihateocd83 That's an intrusive thought. Leave it alone.

Watch what on tv? I watch nature documentaries, videos of people traveling to remote places, Bob Ross painting shows (watch these very relaxing) and streams of people playing games...

I hate this women i once would go mad for. I have no lust for. This makes me so upset 😞

I'm in the exact same boat bro. This shit depresses me...

@Jbm421 It feels like im attracted to men 😞. I cant enjoy thinking about women or fantasizing.

@Ihateocd83 Basically, we are gonna have to not try so hard with females for now. The harder we try, the worst we will feel.

Yup. Its hell on earth.

@Jbm421 I feel like giving up. I really do 😥

@Ihateocd83 You hang in there buddy. I know giving up feels like your only option but we have been here before right? And we still haven't given up right?

That's what I mean bro. In the midst of us feeling so terrible, how can we expect to feel for females. We are trying too dsmn hard. The harder we try, the worse we will feel.

That doubt is what this thrives on.

Same bro. Same.

We can win this 👍

@Ihateocd83 We gotta have faith. We gotta believe.

I hear you bro. I'm getting triggered by my brother. I'm cycling through different aspects of this bullshit. It fucking sucks. Im about to play some Mario Sunshine and Paper Mario to distract.

Same bro. Same.

If it wasn't bullshit, it wouldn't bother us so much.

Dude believe me, I know exactly what you're feeling. It's awful. We can rise above it though. I know it's all a bunch of bullocks when my brother starts triggering me. I'm Puerto Rican and I dont use words like "bullocks", so you know I'm serious.

You ever watch Ali Greymond's YouTube videos? She has videos about how it feels like you want the thoughts but it's all OCD. Watch her videos for advice but dont let it get compulsive. It got bad for me 4 months ago too. It can feel like its gonna kill me too but we can beat it.

Dont think like that. That's exactly the kind of thinking that OCD wants you to have.

@Jbm421 Again I'm getting triggered heavy by my bro. Fucking bullshit!!!

Use the fact it's so depressing to see that it's a load of bullocks. So, tell OCD "ok, you might be right. Hey who knows? You know what, watch me start liking it tomorrow!!!" You rob it of it's power. Its the best way to combat this crap.

Exactly bro. So then treat it as fake.

Dude, I hate bending over or sleeping on my stomach because of that.

@Jbm421 Yeah but i was prentending to take it. When i see a good looking guy i get a feeling in my stomach its like im attracted to them ? Fuck !

@Ihateocd83 There are alot of involuntary things that happen with HOCD. Try not to engage the thoughts.

@Jbm421 You ok mate ?

@Ihateocd83 Yeah I'm ok bro. Just frustrated. I hate that I get thoughts like it's all true when I'm half asleep and I annoyed by the loss of attraction. How you holding up?

@Jbm421 So so mate. I went shopping and saw a hot chick i couldnt keep my eyes of here then im like in my head eww pussy 😞🤷‍♂️

@Ihateocd83 Lol. We try too hard.

@Jbm421 Its fucking bullshit then my mind goes back to thinking about men. How the fuck do i beat this ?

@Jbm421 I literally dont know if this is ocd anymore its driving me insane. The false attraction feels so real 😥

@Ihateocd83 False attraction is the worst. In the moment it feels so damn real that you want to die. The trick is to sit with that feeling of uncomfortability for as long as possible without seeking reassurance. Making you doubt or question if its OCD is what OCD does best. It's a load of bullocks.

@Jbm421 It feels like i want it. And ive got this demon in my head saying i hate pussy. I keep thinking that im going to have to be with a man. Its so depressing 😞. Like the thought of giving up women and not likeing them terrifies me 😥

@Ihateocd83 https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XoCBVDdWFMM Watch this video. Understand what she's saying about OCD. Dont use it as reassurance but use to understand.

@Jbm421 Ok thanks mate