Date posted: 4y

I can't get medication or therepy and I can't take this anymore. I've been a straight man my entire life, always wanted a wife and this says otherwise. The thing worse than the thoughts and disgusting images is the groinal response. I can't take this anymore. Six months of this shit and a garbage year in general. Covid, my girlfriend cheating and leaving, laid off at work despite working hard, total isolation, then this. I had ocd during childhood and youth now it's back. This has said many things over the years but the things it's said past six months are, -Ive always been trans but never knew -Im want to be trans -Im a pédo -Im a râpist - I'm a traitor to my country -Id rather fight for the axis than the allies -Our veterans are scumbags -I want to beat women -I want to load a shotgun and shoot my family -I like incest -I want to fuck animals -im going to hell - I don't believe in my Catholic faith - The one that's been the worst, I'm gay I don't want to be or do those things. I don't. I've thought of myself as a decent man and I loved who I was before this. I don't want to live anymore. I've looked for reasons to keep going yet I find nothing. The whole "You have so much to live for!" has only given me little hope and strength in the early stages of this. It does nothing for me anymore. With the groinal response it's like I've turned gay. HOCD It's attacked friends, people I look up to, family. So many people. I just want to curl up and die. I just want to fucking die

Sexual Orientation OCD

c4ron

Date posted: 4y

Dude I can relate to almost all of them but you're the first one that talks about nazis, i just realized that I had obsessions about that too

Date posted: 4y

I don't even know what kind of OCD that would class into. It lasted bad for awhile

nGfloat

Date posted: 4y

I am sorry you are going through this bro. I struggle with this too. The groinal response becomes less noticeable as time goes on. You just need to kind of acclimate yourself to not caring as much. I still get groinals, but don’t care as much. Now it’s the false attractions. They feel 100% real and my head makes me feel romantic with the thoughts and stuff. I’m honestly not sure at this point. You sound good though bro. Keep on fighting.

Date posted: 4y

Thank you

DeanMitchell

Date posted: 4y

I’ve had every single one of those thoughts as well in the past year I’ve been dealing with this for years myself, I still struggle constantly with it, it used to be every single day, but now it comes and goes and the more attention I give to the thought the stronger it gets and the longer it stays, just know there will always be tomorrow and if tomorrow sucks then there will always be the day after that and so on and so forth, some days it’s bad and I feel like I’m gonna be like this forever and other days I hardly notice it, keep fighting hombre I’m right here with yah

Date posted: 4y

Thank you man

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