i don’t feel like me. i feel like i’ve changed. i guess i feel hollow. I don’t like the thoughts i get but i feel like maybe i do. The meds have pretty much stopped the anxiety and helped the false attraction and the frequency of the thoughts but i still get quite a few and they are repetitive and definitely distressing. i don’t like who i am at the moment. i miss that feeling of having a crush on this boy. and i haven’t had a day ‘free’ of this for ages. it makes me feel like “maybe it’s because your gay”. NO. i don’t want to be. I used to want to have children say nice i was a young girl. and now i feel dead. that’s how i feel DEAD