I’ll start by saying I can’t even believe I’m here. I had my first interaction with HOCD at about 14! I would cry myself to sleep confused about my sexuality!!! It last about 5 months! And I was free! I went on to date amazing women feel in love with a few, hooked up with a a lot after nights at the club! Social media. I was happy and content I would have satisfaction with my sexuality never questioning it! A decade past of fulfillment! I fell in love! Was enjoying every bit of it and 1 night I had a what it thought! What if I’m not In love and what if I’m gay! Even though I’ve never been gay never had any interactions with the same sex I don’t even look at men like this, and ever since I’ve been doomed! Back depressed back sad having daily anxiety! I even had to confess to my woman, my brother, my mother everybody what’s going on because it happened when I was 14 I wasn’t new to it at all they remember me going through this my family at least! I don’t know why I’m so bothered by the thought of being gay I guess it’s because I know I’ve never been gay so the thought would make my whole life a lie. I just wish I could go back to being myself!!!! I’ve be feeling out of my body, out of control confused! And seeking help!