i tried telling my boyfriend i was bisexual and i felt this heat in my chest and didn’t cry when i was telling him. i’m scared i’ve been so angry lately because i’m not accepting this part of myself. and i don’t know if i feel relieved rn.

how is it triggering and yeah next time i’ll put it on there sorry

@holley it’s okay! it just seems like you’ve been having a really tough time with HOCD, but that you’re sort of coming

@holley to terms with the fact that you’re bisexual. i’m not saying that i think you’re bisexual, but from your posts it seems like you’ve come to that conclusion. it’s triggering in that as someone who also has HOCD, it’s triggering to see someone else with HOCD come to the conclusion that they are what they had been fearing.

@lolashewas uhhh okay that pissed me off but just please don’t talk to me. a lot of people go through this stuff and you need to chill. stop making conclusions based on what i’m saying.

@holley i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to upset you, I thought you had made the conclusion yourself! i really didn’t intend anything bad. i’m so sorry.

@holley if it makes you feel better, i was just about to post about how I read some girl on girk erotica and got turned on. I’m super unsure too.

@lolashewas i just feel super unsure and i’m here crying trying to take a nap because i came out as bisexual and i’m super unhappy ab it.

@holley If we all really wanted this wouldn’t we all be super happy about it? Wouldn’t we be okay to feel this way? It just doesn’t make sense. If we are gay or bisexual wouldn’t we want it? That’s why I can never truly believe these thoughts. They feel so REAL and I feel like I have attraction, BUT I don’t want that lifestyle.

@Anonymous i’m not super happy it’s affecting my life right now and i feel like cutting it’s so bad

@holley Are you in ERP therapy?

@holley Be strong , you are not alone in this. We all feel like you do.

@holley I had this same urge and still do. It’s like I want some type of release. I honestly would do it if my gf wouldn’t freak the hell out, but it’s good that she would.

@nGfloat my bf freaks out too bc he knows it’s hocd not bc he doesn’t want me to be bi yk

@holley You might be using your boyfriend as a compulsion for reassurance. Do your best not to do that. You can’t rely on other people when it comes to your OCD. Because people can’t/won’t always be there, BUT YOU can ALWAYS be there for yourself.

i can’t tell if it feels right or not. i’m just crying and feel bad rn bc i hurt someone else’s feelings. i’m not happy

@holley There’s no telling when you have OCD. But if you told him and it felt right. Wouldn’t you know it felt right and not be unsure about it? It might have been an urge you had. I’m not trying to make these worse, just giving my opinion on it.

@Anonymous i’m just so unsure. i’m confused about my identity and these thoughts drive me insane. i don’t know what i feel right now. i don’t know if i feel relieved or not.

@holley We are all confused about it. We are all fighting these thoughts. I have HOCD. And a lot of us have had the urge to come out. I am jot saying what you did was wrong. But with OCD you have emotions and feeling that you don’t want.

@Anonymous i know it’s okay if i am bi i just don’t know and i have to accept that it’s okay

@holley You came out to your boyfriend that you are bi, But you don’t know if you are bi? It sounds like OCD to me. But I am not in your shoes or thoughts, so I can not make the decision for you.

@Anonymous i know it’s ocd i just can’t make heads or tails of anything and that’s okay. i don’t have to be certain. thank you for being so kind and replying

@holley You’re welcome! Accept the uncertainty. The recovery process for ocd (for me at least) has been slowly but surely. If I look back at how I was , to now. I have made improvements. Any progress is progress. Don’t feel like you have to give in and give up to your thoughts. This is your life. Just because your thoughts want it, does not mean you do. It’s hard having ocd, I know. Be strong, you got this