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- 4y
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- 4y
I feel this too. I just remind myself that we dont know their lives. Those are people without ocd. Theres a difference in those two. We cant base our realities / speculate about the actions of others but only our own values♡♡♡
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- 4y
I’m often worried about this given my responses to porn. But then I remember all my authentic attractions to men. It’s just hard to get through every day
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- 4y
@wellwellwell Yes but try to avoid using porn to confirm. This can be a checking compulsion (trying to determine whether there is a groinal response to stimuli). If you check/ worry about a groinal response it can turn compulsive!!! :)
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- 4y
@KatieW It is compulsive! My fears are based much more on stuff when I was young and things that aroused me before ocd
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- 4y
@wellwellwell Yes. I understand that. Try not to ruminate on the past bc no matter what ocd will twist it to fit its narrative! No need to worry about the past. Whats helped me is accepting i will never know my sexual orientation for certain bc i have ocd. I have a bf and as long as him n i get along, im gonna just do what makes me happy: not being fully sure im correct♡
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I think a great thing to remeber is that those women didn’t suddenly become gay out of no where. They were always gay but either from pressure from their family or society they had to marry a man. They always knew that they were gay. You don’t just suddenly turn into a different sexuality
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This scares me though because I’m terrified I’m in denial due to sexual arousal I experience. You’re right though. It’s a rational perspective
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@wellwellwell Hey I get this fear too. I read something once that said “You can trick your brain into being aroused by anything if you concentrate hard enough.” Like if you focus on a table hard enough you can be aroused by it. That’s what ocd does
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- 4y
@Madeline Sadly these are things that aroused me before HOCD but I have experienced groinals as well.
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@wellwellwell You probably didn’t know you had ocd then. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 19 and then everything I’ve ever experienced in my life made sense
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@Madeline No I was definitely genuine arousal, because I wasn’t concerned about it at the time. It was just porn. But now I am concerned looking back
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@wellwellwell Youre engaging in black n white thinking. It is normal to be aroused by these sorts of things. Ive been aroused by both same sex n opposite sex porn: sometimes both, sometimes none. Sexuality facets emotional attraction, physical attraction n so much more. It is a spectrum. Just bc youve been aroused does not mean you do not love your husband.
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- 4y
@wellwellwell Stop trying to figure it out is the best advice i could give you. Ocd is giving you different variations within this same theme. Having ocd means that it's different for us. We wont know for certain, you get to pick what you want to do. These thoughts are causing you great distress. Theyre ego dystonic. If you want to be w your husband, move towards it. No matter what your brain is saying. You can do this.
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@wellwellwell I also read that anything sexual is going to turn ppl on because your brain immediately think about you doing the sexual act
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@Madeline Thank you guys. I just get worried. It’s like male nudes and abs don’t get me as easily aroused but I only think about sex with men. I just want to be a good wife and it’s scary to think I’m deceiving a man I love or that I’ll be doomed to a life of mediocre sex when I want good sex with him so bad
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- 4y
@wellwellwell Yes. This is thought neutralization too. Youre not deceiving anyone or doing anything wrong. This ocd does not care about the content and just attacks what is the most upsetting for you. ♡ ive had this theme too it is so hard but when u truly embrace that certainty does not exist and just choose the person u want to thats when your life will improve. You got this
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@KatieW I just have friends who have said they’re turned on by abs and I know they’re straight so I feel like less of a straight woman you know? And that bothers me.
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@wellwellwell Could be a preference thing. Not everyone is gonna have one ideal body type they find attractive. Same as liking blue eyes or brown hair yk? Abs dont do it for me either :)
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@KatieW I feel like these weird standards I set for myself make ocd go crazy! You’re right about black and white. It’s like oh you don’t like magic mike? That doesn’t turn you on? Must be gay. Even though I know logically that’s dumb.
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@wellwellwell Thank you for sharing this! I’ve been dealing with this the last month or so and ooooof it has taken up space!
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@yessyess I’m glad you relate too
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Same, I’ve never been in a relationship before, and I’m just terrified that I’ll like girls
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I know everyone’s experience is different, but I know for me when I was with my ex-boyfriend I never hocd thoughts and I just knew that it felt right. I hope that happens with you too!
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@Madeline I hope so too...
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I think this is a huge fear for those with SOOCD. I married and I know that scares me
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- 4y
I feel this one all the time and it scares me!
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- 15w
this is what triggered my OCD this time. i’m in the healthiest relationship i’ve ever been in and the constant “what if im gay?” thoughts are so triggering and annoying. my sex life is gone and im just so upset im hurting my boyfriend like this…
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