Hey everyone! I need some advice. I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now. And I love him very much and I think we bring out the best in each other and he’s my favorite person to be around. And I deal with a lot of relationship OCD but I think I’ve got it in check for the most part. However- I have this compulsion that I’ve had pretty much since we started dating. I check his ex’s social media way too often.. like at least once a day.. and I’m not sure exactly why? I don’t know what I’m “looking for” exactly but every day I have this urge to check to see if she updated her status or added a new picture or made a new TikTok. It’s debilitating and makes me feel so so guilty. I get really anxious and start ruminating about the fact that he dated her before me, and that he had feelings for her at one point in time, and for some reason my brain tells me that he might still have feelings (even though there are literally no signs that point to that being true) and I check her social media almost as a way to see if I can find any clues??? I know it’s really self destructive and I’ve gone a few days without doing it but I don’t know why it’s so hard for me not to? It’s so embarrassing and makes me feel super insecure. I know the simple answer is “well just stop”.. but why is that so hard for me to do???

Relationship OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

Hunny i used to do the same exact thing ! And it’s only with one specific ex. I would check her Instagram and i would listen to her podcast that she has. For what reason? Nooo idea. I’ve been a lot better with it but i still have the urge to do so. But it’s only hurting ourselves....we’re living in the past and that person doesn’t mean anything anymore but for some reason she still lingers in my mind. Just keep resisting the urge that’s all you can do.

beanbeanbean

Date posted: 4y

Yes it’s only this one specific ex! It’s so frustrating! I’m glad to know I’m not alone though. I guess I just have to keep trying to ignore the urges until they go away on their own. Thank you!

jenzbugrulz1978

Date posted: 4y

I have done similar with mine only in a different way. I have asked him outright if he has feelings forhis ex wife (mom of his 3 kids). Ive asked maybe 4 times but I am trying to stop before it ruins our relationship....its soooo hard and I hace cried and trying not to....ugh!

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

Yeaa I’ve asked my boyfriend way too many times questions about his ex. And like it’s annoying cause i hate that feeling of being insecure or jealous or whatever it is and it just leaves me disgusted with myself. We just have to trust in the person we love and remember they’re with us for a reason. It’s toughh lol

beanbeanbean

Date posted: 4y

Yes!! I honestly think the reason I check her socials so often is so that I don’t straight up ask him questions about her because once I ask one question the floodgates open and suddenly I want to know ever last detail of their relationship which is NOT healthy. Being in a relationship with ocd is a lot of work and sometimes is really hard but I think we got this. Sometimes all I really need is to hear that other people are struggling with the same thing, so thanks.

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

@beanbeanbean Ya it’s nice to know we’re not alone ❤️ gooodluck to youu

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