Anyone else feel the need to confess to their thoughts to their partners? I burden my bf a lot in this way, but I feel like I'm dishonest or guilty if I don't. He's very understanding but he can only take so much.

ROCD is so tough. I feel like on some level I can see how what I experience seems to match the symptoms of ROCD but at the same time Im scared it's not ROCD and that all my fears are real. Ya know?

I do doubt my love for my partner and sometimes my attraction too. I feel like I don't care about him sometimes and I compare him to other guys. It just makes me feel really guilty though.

These are all common themes of relationship OCD. The treatment is the same as for all others, accept the uncertainty, be ok with the level of distress that causes, and expose yourself gradually.

@maejen102 same thing happens to me.. and then I realize that all those guys I felt strongly about were really not good guys for me. I felt that I liked them a lot but I think it was infatuation and the fact that they were out of reach. I'm holding on to this one.. he's great and really wants to be with me. Love isn't a feeling. It's an action. It's a choice. And it takes time. :)

I find mine too distressing to tell my partner

Yeah I know exactly what you mean, Greenjay. I feel guilty too a lot of the time. I worry I'm like wasting my parents time, and worry that they'd be happier and more loved with/by someone else.

I tell my bf that he deserves better all the time. I've broken up with him so many times in the past month or so for this very reason, but that just upsets him "more than anything I could ever think or say". But I genuinely do feel he'd be better off with someone who didn't have fucked up thoughts about him and in general.

Yep. I'm the confession queen. I confess my thoughts, fears, worries, doubts.. all of it. It gets worse closer to my time of the month - things get really confessy and ugly. I'm working on it though. My boyfriend is also super understanding but can only take so much and I feel terribly bad about it.. so I can only take so much of it too.

Yes I struggle with wondering if certain thoughts are ocd or just how I truly feel all the time. Deep down I feel like I love my partner and that my ocd is bringing me thoughts to sabotage any joy I have. I'm so over it.

I actually feel empty inside.. and just have to trust that I love my partner. It makes it really hard.. and then I fear that I just don't love him and it has nothing to do with OCD.

Gosh I relate to all of you so much

Same here!!! Ugh guys I’m so glad I found you. We really need an outlet outside of our relationships. The worst part of my OCD has been the impact on those around me that I deeply love :( but we can do this!!! Gradual exposure...realize the world won’t explode....endure the stress and panic until it passes...rinse & repeat.

@thequirkyturkey I too feel mostly empty inside... And because of that I think I don't love my partner. I always do this thing too where when the anxiety about him kicks in, I start thinking about guys I used to like (who never liked me back) because I felt sure of my feeling for them. Of course if they had told me they liked me, my ROCD likely would've kicked in. I think I am looking for assurance that it really is ROCD and not my true feelings. This has been such a pattern in my life.

@maejen102 definitely. If I stayed with any of those guys long term it would have been a nightmare.. it was a nightmare for the short amount of time I was with them! Haha. So much doubt and insecurity.. and I clung so hard. I'm in a better place, but it's still very challenging.

@Jen22 HOCD, POCD, ROCD... the only OCD I haven't really had a problem with is religious OCD..

Do you guys ever have thoughts like "I'm just using my partner, I don't really love them, I'm just with them so I don't end up alone" all the while being scared these thoughts are true?

Yes. I relate to allllll of that

I'm also working on the confessions. It gives me temporary relief but there's always something else that I feel the need to confess. And as understanding and loving as he is I feel bad for dumping on him constantly. He's not a qualified therapist, I really need to find one ??‍♀️

@thequirkeyturkey SAME... Yeah the infatuation and the fact that they were out of reach. But likely if I'd actually dated those guys it would've been a nightmare. I hope I can come to that place you're at where you are holding onto the guy you're with :)

Do any of you struggle with HOCD too as well as ROCD

@thequirkeyturkey I know what you mean. That's all those "relationships" were - doubts and insecurities lol I seriously don't know how you clung on. I guess it's just leaning to tolerate the anxiety?

Well I have a group message on Instagram from people here that is centered mostly on HOCD and ROCD (but really pretty much any ocd) if any of you are interested

And same. I’ve had HOCD, POCD, ROCD, Religious OCD, and the list goes on ?