I want to learn more about Christ... But... How? I feel like an intense study of the scriptures would help, but I rarely feel the happy warm feeling I want to feel when I read about Him... I feel like I read and just feel kind of neutral when I feel like I should be like mind blown and crying with emotion... Haha. I know that isn't realistic. But how do I form a deep relationship with Christ, without... Feeling like I have to study him in the perfect way for it to count? Or without feeling that I am bad for not having some huge spiritual experience every time, something I know isn't how he works? Anyone relate or know how to chill out about this / be more successful?

Religion & Spirituality OCD

Anxiousaddie

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4y ago

I know how you feel, Daisy! It can be hard and feel like you aren't doing enough BUT I do know that we can't always rely on feelings but Jesus appreciates commitment to reading about him. I often will read and have questions, or not a good enough feeling and feel like maybe i do not believe enough or I am not good enough but that's not what God sees. “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you” (James 4:8). He will draw near to you if you draw near to Him, even if you can't feel Him, it doesn't mean He isn't there!! “All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will by no means cast out” Hope this helps in any way!! If you have any questions I will be happy to try to help!! A devotional may be able to help you as well!

Daisy102

Date posted: 4y ago

I appreciate that. I think next step is finding balance... i don't want to be complacent, but if I try to read everything right now I will panic. I don't know. Maybe it would help to do it with someone. Or just stop thinking about it and just do it.

Anxiousaddie

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4y ago

@Daisy102 I totally understand how you feel!! I think its better to start small and not put pressure to know everything you need to. Reading it with someone would be a good idea, even through zoom or something!

Daisy102

Date posted: 4y ago

Thank you though I really appreciate your words and taking time to help em

Daisy102

Date posted: 4y ago

ButterflyStar

Date posted: 4y ago

Oh wow!!! Me too ooo. Yay someone who is writing what I am experiencing! I think I huge error is that we are looking at our feelings as markers of our faith. Thankfully, God doesn't love us because how much we feel in awe of Him, or if we fall on our face with praise. He loves us, if we have transfered all our trust from ourselves INTO what Jesus did on the cross. I too, am much like you. I still battle with this. A lot of things are triggering.. Hearing other people pray, being with others in worship, worship songs, being in church. I cry often.. All because I think my feelings aren't 'right'. God will help us get through ocd. I encourage you to read Ted Wiztigs articles on ocd. He has a few! Here is one: https://www.accounseling.org/scrupulosity-ocd-mending-your-god-image/ I don't think the answer is trying more. Because I already do that, and the more I do that the less I feel certain. We get help for ocd, because what you are describing is ocd. People will try and fix us by throwing us more spiritual answers, but they don't realise that OCD is illogical and based on compulsions and obsessions.

ButterflyStar

Date posted: 4y ago

There is a song called Enough. And one line is 'I am not loved by the measure of loved that I bring, I am loved unconditionally.' That means God doesn't love us on the amount of FEELINGS we have, we are loved because of Jesus. (coming from an understanding that one has already made jesus their saviour and put all their trust on what happened at the cross... Not just for the unbeliever.) Anyway I really like that line because of my OCD ❤️

sick&tired

Date posted: 25w ago

What if I don’t deserve..

A good life, success, healing, beautiful things? ⚠️ Important: please don’t read if this is triggering. No one should think this way about themselves, of course you deserve it all. I struggle with real events and harm OCD. My worst fear is being a bad person, causing harm or doing the wrong thing. These thoughts haunt me all the time and cause me to essentially throw my life away. I don’t go out, pursue opportunities, etc. because what if I don’t deserve them? I think of the worst things I’ve ever done all the time. The things that I’m most ashamed of. Like a broken record that’s all I replay in my head. Doesn’t matter if it was 5 or 10 years ago. And I beat myself up for not doing better. And I just don’t know how to move past it. I’ve read a lot of quotes and books about self help and love and acceptance (e.g. once you know better, do better). But for me I feel like I have to hate myself forever. I won’t ever get a clean slate, there’s a permanent stain on my record. I just can’t forgive myself, whether other people know it or not, I can’t allow myself to move forward. It’s about integrity for me. Does anyone relate? How do you do it? I’m so sorry if you’re also struggling. I don’t wish this for anyone. Please keep fighting, you’re not alone. ❤️

Jesuslover28

Date posted: 14w ago

Idk what to do

I don't even know if I should put this here, but I have the greatest girlfriend in the whole world, and I love her very much, but my thoughts keep saying I'm going to hurt her, so I can hurt God and idk what to do, I feel so disgusted and idk what to do, and the worst part is why does some part of me just not even care idk what to do anymore, it's almost like I'm turning into this horrible person and idk what to do, I'm really not sure what to do. I have really been able to be happy I just feel like I don't deserve it and I want to care about people and God and I want to be a good person, but a part of me shuts off my caring nature and idk what to do, I'm really freaking out because it's like IDC and idk what to do I just feel so nasty and scared because why don't I feel like I care. Why does it feel like it's something I wanna do idk, what to do I'm really freaking worried. Also I don't want OCD but a part of me says I need it or I like these thoughts and idk what to do, as im writing this i just feel like laughing and idk what to do, i really judt want jesus to hug me and say everything will be alright, i am such a monster....

nae nae

Date posted: 7w ago

Need a bit of advice!! 🎀

+18 only!! TW for sexual content!! (This might be TMI, but I need advice) So, this is kinda embarrassing, but I haven't been able to self-pleasure without feeling shame or guilt. It's so bad that I've just stopped altogether, but I don't want to avoid it. It was something I enjoyed and was comfortable with, and now, because of OCD, it just makes me feel... gross. It's a perfectly normal and healthy thing to do, but my mind just tries to convince me that it's wrong. Had anyone else dealt with this? It's not a huge issue, but I'm tired of unnecessary shame. :(

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