When will this end?! I am so sick of living like this. I can't even go to the bathroom without having panic attacks thanks to my contamination OCD. I purposely not drink enough water throughout the day to avoid trips to the restroom. I used to love drinking water throughout the day keeping hydrated...it was all about keeping healthy. Now I can barely function like a normal human being this past year and a half! This is a nightmare and I just want to wake up from it already. After four therapists I still feel no relief. I am set to see one on here through NOCD, but not for another month and a half. I feel like I am not going to make ot until then. :(

Something that helped me is trying to give up the control of trying to not be anxious and just accepting that I am if that makes sense. Keep doing the things that bother you and eventually it’s easier to see there is no real threat and it won’t bother you as much. It’s just your brain telling you that you have to do things or can’t do things so you won’t be anxious. Are you worried about the germs doing something or is it more of a disgust avoidance factor? I wish you the best. Keep fighting! I would talk to someone about seeing other options for medication and to someone that is really trained and has experience with ocd if your other therapist haven’t helped you much.

I’ve had that fear as well. It can be discouraging when it stars to spiral out of control but try to hang in there for your child. I don’t know it this will help but I try to think that there are toilet germs in most public places that are out of my control and they never harm anyone. If you are worry about bathroom germs they are minimally toxic and you would have to ingest a whole lot to make you sick. Ocd is going to fight the logic and instill fear in anyway it can but trying to not listen and give in. It eventually helps. Your own bathroom germs won’t hurt your child if you aren’t constantly disinfecting and giving into the rituals. Cleaning a normal amount is more than enough. There are people that rarely clean and nothing happens to them. Your son has an immune system that will fight germs from harming him. The fact that it is causing you distress proves you would never purposefully harm him. You are a good mother. Know that fighting the ocd and fighting the rituals will help your son in the end because he will have a mom that is there for him and doesn’t worry about ocd controlling her life. I hope you can find a good therapist that will help you. I know it’s hard once you start to feel hopeless but I promise it gets better with time.