Sorry maybe TMI :/ I’m worried I have a porn addiction. I find myself to ‘crave’ watching it at times and feeling happy (for like 5 seconds) after doing so. And then super guilty and gross, especially because there’s still stigma about girls watching porn. Anyway, I took a shift to a more ethical porn site run by women like a month ago... but it just doesn’t give me that same kick. So I guess I’ve just stopped watching it so much. Back in the day, on the original mainstream site I watched it on, I’d probably go on it like 5 times a week (ish). The guilt is what stops be going back to the old website and stuff I watched there but that doesn’t mean I don’t still want to. On the whole though, I hate that I feel this craving feeling and I’m scared I’m therefore a porn addict. I don’t want to stunt my sexual development and become completely reliant on porn. I find I CAN ignore the feeling when my brain tells me to watch it, especially due to the guilt. But it’s not super easy and I do sometimes really just want to.

Yeah maybe. For me it’s not sex though, more masturbation

@garden Well I’m a Virgin so same here

@ma345 Do you want to share your experiences with me? I don’t necessarily have to share mine but maybe I can provide some support and perspective for you regarding yours. I also know some good resources that might help you with porn addiction. Let me know.

@ma345 Thank you. I think part of me is still in denial about whether it’s an addiction or not. I can go without watching porn, I just have pangs of ‘craving’ it. My biggest fear is that it’s changed my brain and I’ll never be able to enjoy sex because ‘only porn will do it for me’. That’s a terrifying thought!

@garden Do you continue to watch porn and act out despite negative consequences? Like if your family told you they were concerned about you and wanted you to stop, could you stop successfully?

@ma345 Additionally, do you masturbate as a way of escaping reality and/or negative emotions?

@ma345 Hmm nobody really knows and it doesn’t massively interfere with my life I don’t think. If someone else told me to stop I think I would because that’s a sign that it’s severe. I mostly maturbate when my brain craves the ‘high’ it gives me

@garden Ok so you haven’t really had any negative consequences. Do you masturbate as a way to escape negative emotions, like anger, anxiety, etc? Like do you routinely start watching porn when you’re feeling distressed?

@ma345 Would you be comfortable telling me how old you are? It would help me put things in perspective here. I’m 25

@ma345 Or you can just write teenaged, young adult, or mature adult if your not comfortable sharing your age

@ma345 I hope you don’t mind all my questions. I’m just trying to get as much info about your sexual behavior as possible so I can provide you with the best advice possible

@ma345 No no don’t worry. And thank you so much for your help it means a lot. I’m a late teen and yeah, I guess I do watch porn and stuff to escape my head. It’s kinda similar to eating loads of junk food... it just makes me feel good for a little while. Oh the whole I mostly do it when I feel nothing? Because if I’m super angry or anxious or sad, I’m too absorbed by that to relax and watch it. But if I’m bored then I will. If that makes sense? Sorry I feel bad for talking so much about myself. I hope you’re okay too

@garden So you watch porn when you’re bored only? Or do negative emotions play a role too? And don’t worry this isn’t about me. I’m seeing if I can use my own experience to help you right now.

@ma345 And how long has this behavior been going on for?

@ma345 That’s very kind of you. Hmm there was a point where I was watching it everyday and would feel excited to do so. It didn’t really matter about my emotions but I think that if I was a generally happy person, I probably wouldn’t crave that kick that it gives me. Must’ve been around 3 yrs ago when I first began watching it and it’s been a year or so since it’s been more frequent. But this last month not so much since the current porn site I use is very ethical which is awesome, but my brain can’t quite adjust to more ‘vanilla’ stuff. That worries me most I think. But I won’t go back to the old site as it makes me guilty. The old site is pornhub btw

@garden Sorry I didn’t reply yet. Did you see the long post I made about some of the things that sex addicts struggle with?

@garden Yeah I feel you on this. Going back to pornhub makes me feel pretty guilty at the end of the day. Before all of this I had always been excited to watch that kind of stuff pretty much every single day or a few days of the week. The guilt is there now but I don't get urges

@BigGip09 Totally the same here

@ma345 I’ll go have a look!

I’m really sorry, that does sound difficult. I totally relate to that ‘craving’ feeling that is replaced by utter shame and insecurity. As for the YouTube video, I guess at the end of the day you didn’t intentionally click on it wanting to see someone underage (not that she necessarily was). Your ocd is just using this to terrify you.

@garden Yeah it is difficult but day by day I'm trying to get by it by not ruminating on it so much, which I end up doing anyway. As I said before, no accidents like this have happened ever since then, and I know that I'm attracted to either girls my age or much older women, never children or even babies. I hope you can find a way to put an end to this struggle when it comes to porn and it's cravings. Do you think watching it on end is the problem or is it frequent masturbating?