For people with sexual intrusive thoughts, do you get them while masterbating? Do you then feel bad and feel like you masterbated to the thoughts?

@jb2020 I’m dealing with this too I keep thinking I got pleasure from it :/ like I was self pleasuring bc of the thought …

@andrea_sam730 Did it feel like In the beginning you were masterbating to the thoughts

@Anonymous Well, it never feels like in the beginning. It just happens like I guess in the middle or like I don’t know like I never start like going to them and be like yeah this is what I’m gonna do but it just happens. I don’t know if that makes sense and that’s what scares me the most like when I’m already in a like vulnerable state and it makes me feel like I’m moving in response to the thoughts and then I immediately panic. It’s such a horrible feeling like I’ve been in a really bad episode for many weeks now.

@andrea_sam730 Yeah because it feels like you are activity doing it to the thoughts I hate that for me it feels like In the beginning it probably wasn't but my thoughts doubt myself

@Anonymous Yeah, it’s probably your OCD like messing with you like a lot of people experience similar to the same thing that we are facing but for me I just feel like I am the biggest exception like everyone else is good

@andrea_sam730 What exactly does it feel like for you I'm here to listen

@Anonymous It just feels terrible n scary 😭 like I acted on my thoughts. Oh, and then I try to remember my intrusive thoughts, but I can never remember them and also I never get this spirit when I intentionally think of like things that I want to think you know it’s only in the context of intrusive thoughts, which I find so funny ☠️

@andrea_sam730 For me it's just my thoughts I can't control my mind just thinks these things it's terrible

@Anonymous Yeah and also sometimes it feels like I’m like focusing on them too. That’s what makes it even worse for me like I guess you could say it’s all I can see.

@andrea_sam730 YES EXACTLY ITS SO HARD especially when intimate moments it's like I'm doing it to them

@Anonymous I’m so sorry you have to go through this. You are definitely not alone like you told me and remember that you weren’t the exception

@andrea_sam730 It's hard because it feels like when I'm doing it it's all I think about and I think I don't even know anymore I don't even know what to do anymore I feel like a criminal because these thoughts are so like messed up but I'm glad I'm not alone

@Anonymous I know exactly when I tell you I know exactly how you feel. I went months without eating or sleeping. I started missing school because I genuinely felt like an actual pedophile until this day. I still do.

@andrea_sam730 Exactly it's so hard

@Anonymous I didn’t know ocd could get this bad

@andrea_sam730 We just have to lean on each other and hope it'll be better

@Anonymous I 100% agree for me like I don’t know I guess it’s more of like my body movements like it just feels like I’m just moving because of the thought and I honestly feel so alone like I feel like I’m the only one or like I’m the exception😓

@andrea_sam730 Was it like pocd for u too your not alone I'm I'm in the same boat

@Anonymous Yes like I’m still like struggling after months to have this obsession and it’s like for me I guess cause it’s a new obsession. I’ve never dealt this before. I cannot stress it enough and I just cannot seem like I feel like it’s all my fault like I don’t think it’s OCD at this point anymore.

@Anonymous Wait do you have any socials?

@andrea_sam730 I have a Instagram

@andrea_sam730 I feel you same for me for me it's not really new thats why I feel so much guilt it's so terrible

@Anonymous Would you like to connect outside of nocd you seem like a person I can really relate to

@Anonymous Only if ur okay with it

@andrea_sam730 Sure I do not mind yes I'd love too

@andrea_sam730 I'm fine with it drop your @

@Anonymous andreaxvcx_._

@andrea_sam730 Added you

I even get shitty thoughts like these when I don't masturbate and come across inappropriate shit that makes me uncomfortable whether on youtube or other social sites. It sucks