hi, i’m a hocd sufferer and today i have just given in, and said i am bi. and however much i want to say it has helped it hasn’t. it doesn’t feel correct, i don’t feel comfortable with it and it just doesn’t feel natural. and i feel more upset about it now i have given myself this label. me being straight feels correct but i can’t get these thoughts out of my head and it brings me so much pain and discomfort. i don’t know what to do with myself, i thought just going along with it and saying i’m bi would make it feel better but it hasn’t.

I know how you feel. I know exactly how you feel. How awful and horrible and life-ruining this has been. But ERP WORKS. There is hope. You’ve got to do this to regain your life. It’s SO hard, but doing compulsions as you’ve seen has never gotten you better! You can do this therapy! Don’t give in to the compulsions. Feel this distress no matter how AWFUL it is. By feeling it and resisting a compulsion, you’re letting the anxiety response come down naturally — teaching your brain that there is nothing to fear because the compulsive response isn’t needed!

ERP works if you work it. ERP is the best treatment for i.

thank you, i am honestly so close to the edge, feeling suicidal most days over this. and hey take some of your own words, if you really were bi or gay you wouldn’t feel this much pain right.

@haleyj0yy You think im gay dont you ?

@Ihateocd83 not at all, i think you are what you originally felt comfortable with being but that’s not for me to say really

@haleyj0yy I know im sorry im in a bad place at the moment. I just said in my head i think its time 😞

@Ihateocd83 don’t be sorry, i told my mum i wanted to end myself this morning because of this, we are in simular situations. we are here for you! if you have any social media like instagram you want to chat on and check up on eachother and vent when we need i don’t mind doing that i hope your okay !!!

@haleyj0yy I dont really do social media. Are you from the uk ?

@Ihateocd83 yeah i am from the uk i’m from east london

@haleyj0yy Haha really i live near bluewater 👍

@haleyj0yy How are you hope your ok ? 👍

@Ihateocd83 yeah i’m not the best but i think i’m better than i was yesterday, what about you

@haleyj0yy Just trying to accept and not fear the thoughts. Remember they are just thoughts 👍

@Ihateocd83 same for you!!!

@haleyj0yy How long have you had this ?. How old are you ?

@haleyj0yy Do you use kik ?

I struggle because i have no idea what my compulsions are ?

@Ihateocd83 What do you feel an urge to do once you get those thoughts or concerns about being gay? Do you... - Ruminate on the thought - Try to figure it out - Try to neutralize it with a “straight” thought - Give yourself reassurance that you aren’t gay - Search online to determine if you’re gay or not - Worry about it - Feel unable to move on until you’ve “dealt with” the thought - Avoid things that trigger you Anything you do to relieve the anxiety after an obsession (or to avoid one) is a compulsion. Anything you feel the urge to do. Anything you feel wrong or more anxious if you DON’T do — like leaving the thoughts there or not trying to figure them out. Anything you feel *compelled* to do!

I would recommend getting an OCD specialist to walk you through ERP, trying the SOS feature in the app, or following the therapy I linked you above. That article will explain everything you need to do.

You’re so welcome! You got this!