dealing with real event and hocd together SUCKS. i once saw a post of this girl talking about how she wouldn’t mind trying out sleeping with a girl and i agreed with it. my hocd is using that as my proof and i can’t let it go. it won’t accept that i didn’t mean what i said. it’s also making me doubt whether or not i wouldn’t or would sleep with a girl now even though i know i wouldn’t. god this is so hard. i feel so alone. nobody relates to my situation 😞. advice is very very appreciated 😞💞

I really hope I don’t say gay bc of this😥 I just started watching porn as a kid and boobs and stuff were what I saw and I associate that with sex but I’ve always liked boys?

I relate to this. There was never ever a desire to be with girls? Why now does it seem like I have to?

@wellwellwell That’s exactly what I’m struggling with. Like. To the T. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, it’s like I’m constantly afraid of talking to my friends or going out in public in case I realise this attraction existed this entire time and I never knew. It genuinely kills me thinking of my friends in a romantic way, idk why bc I’ve never been as close to anyone as I am with them, but I hate it. It feels so wrong. I hate the thought of someone else thinking I’m attracted to them. I hate that /I/ even am worried about being attracted to them. It feels like I just tainted my relationship with them all.

i honestly don’t know either. i just know i wouldn’t do it. it isn’t in my nature and i truly can’t believe i said something like that. i know it’s all porn induced too because before all of this i never questioned anything. or said anything. it’s all from the porn.

@bambam| and it just felt like i lied to myself after i said all of that even though that’s how i really feel.

@bambam| but i don’t know if i wouldn’t do it or not that’s my struggle. i have the fear that one day me and my boyfriend will break up and i will experiment with a girl after i get over him. and removing him from the picture triggers me and sends me into panic because i think without him i would do it or something and it makes me cry. i have no other reasons in my mind why i would break up with him (hypothetically) like this is the only reason in the world i feel like this could happen. i have real event too if you wanna talk on discord or snap or anything just let me know i would love to!

@bambam| what are the numbers after your username

SAME. i remember when my hocd began and i was looking stuff up about being bi and how to tell and all that and this girl said she watched lesbian porn and said she wouldn’t mind trying it and i agreed with her. i can’t believe i did. but i did and i can’t let go of hocd now because of this “proof”

@bambam| Same. I’ve been struggling with this for over 3 years. I found that the best way to cope is to accept what you thought or said, and let it go. One thought will not suddenly change your whole history of liking guys

@cnv thank you. i’ve been trying so hard to accept it. but it won’t budge ya know ??