i have a question. when my ocd first began, it wasn’t like i was like “no, i’m straight.” it was more of a “woah, am I gay?” and my compulsions weren’t to “prove” to myself that i was straight but rather to “figure out” if i was gay. did anyone else have this experience? i was also quite young when this started, around 12/13, but prior to that I had been boy crazy my whole life starting at 4.

i think i got the wrong point across. i identify as straight and i did before the hocd started as well, but it was like my compulsions were centered around getting to the bottom of the question and figuring out that i was straight. the idea of being bi/gay gave me great anxiety then and still does, but when i did compulsions like testing scenarios in my head, I would get a reaction to the gorl scenario but not the boy scenario and it would make me so sick and amxious and depressed so i would research and ask for reassurance 24/7

@lolashewas Oh then, that what's most people's experience with hocd is like

@notfortalk really?

@lolashewas Yeah

No, attraction just comes. People don't make list about what's good what's bad about one gender. That's a typical compulsion

@notfortalk Yesterday night my daughter said that she saw some celebrities online and she felt “attracted “ to these women so that must mean she is gay . I didn’t even know how to respond to that. I find so many women attractive. I think what’s happening with my daughter is that she never thought she would even look at women her whole life and now her sexuality has gone into high gear because she is almost 13 and because she feels like she is looking at other women it automatically must mean your gay. It’s so hard to get through to her . That and it’s also coupled with ocd which she has already been diagnosed with and all the psychiatrist wants to do is heavily medicate her.

@rachel1219 It’s so hard for me as a mother to see this.

@rachel1219 I'm also a teenager so I get her struggle. One think that she has to keep in mind is that she's very young. Life has yet to start for her. Right now it's hard because of this illness and it's going to be for a while. But one day, regardless of what the truth is, she'll mature and she will be okay

@notfortalk If you don’t mind me asking when did your HOCD start and sometimes do you feel like it’s denial?

@rachel1219 I was 15 and yes I do

@notfortalk And you just push along ? I don’t know how to help her cope . At all. Like at all. Any tips ? Sorry to hear you are going through it. Have things gotten better ?

@rachel1219 I don't really have any advice to give. I don't cope very well and I'm not in a very good state of mind. I have a therapist and I truly recommend it to people with ocd because mental illnesses are just as important as physical illnesseses. But in situations where people can't access to psychiatric help I recommend searching online for sites, people with shared experiences or online therapy. It's very hard to go through this without any medical help but having a family and friends that understand that you're struggling and care about you is also very important

@notfortalk Got it . Thank you anyways and I hope things work out for you .

@notfortalk @notfortalk do you think having it start at a young age means it’s probably not HOCD?

@lolashewas No- because if you are still ruminating and obsessing it doesn’t matter what age

@lolashewas @lolashewas I don't know. I was 15 when I got it and I think about it all the time and the possibility of it being questioning gives me so much anxiety

@notfortalk My daughter goes through rhis - she says the ocd makes her believe she needs to be gay but then she looks so stressed out when she has to think about being gay. How can being gay be that stressful ? They always say when you are gay you are just another normal person with normal thoughts etc etc etc.

@notfortalk I am also assuming that as you grow you realize that you are having male crushes etc etc so you learn as you grow too.