HELP PLEASE so this guy I had a thing with nearly 2 years ago messaged me about something, we are still friends but my bf is uncomfortable with it, we were talking about him getting over his ex and he said he has been getting fit and he would show me but he doesnt wanna make me or my bf uncomfortable I dindt reply to that I just changed the subject, after I said I had to go he said "talk soon yeah" and I havent replied and I feel like I've cheated on my bf or something and I feel like this guy was trying to flirt with me but I'd never do anything with him whilst I'm with my bf and I've told him I'm happy now I cant relax 😥

Relationship OCD

lukair23

Date posted: 4y

I know this very very well. The thing is - I overcame this be doing the only thing that works in those situations: erp. For the first time I feel better. You caring about that situation shows that you’re a good person. Don’t let ocd tell you otherwise and don’t start the rumination. It will make it 100x worse. Don’t look anything up, don’t google something, don’t do anything. Tomorrow go on the street and maybe just check out a guy you find handsome. Without doing something afterwards, just trigger the ocd. And once you feel the anxiety, do something you love. Grab a coffee, sit in the sun, just do an action that you like doing. My ocd was confused as hell. It was the only thing that worked for me, because what started with a “probkem” like yours spiraled so so bad for me. Search the anxiety, do something it condemns, and then do something you love. Your brain will reprogram, and you will finally be the boss of yourself again.

Coul.C

Date posted: 4y

This was really well said

abby

Date posted: 4y

thank you!! I just hate the feeling that I've done something wrong cuz I can see that scenario going that way but I know I wouldnt let it m, it's just really stressful

lukair23

Date posted: 4y

@abby Yes I know. And wait how silent ocd gets when you do something “wrong” on purpose? Then again, and again. It will be quieter than ever before.

abby

Date posted: 4y

@lukair23 have you gotten over it?

lukair23

Date posted: 4y

@abby Anxiety dropped a lot. I was feeling really really bad over Christmas. I was at Rock bottom. Wait I’ll share an article with you that is really smart.

lukair23

Date posted: 4y

@lukair23 https://www.sheppardpratt.org/news-views/story/moral-scrupulosity-ocd-part-three/

lukair23

Date posted: 4y

@lukair23 Especially the take on on ERP is great. I felt like doing the exact opposite Of what ocd expects and then rewarding yourself with something you love, is so overwhelming for ocd that it just quiets down.

abby

Date posted: 4y

@lukair23 okay

abby

Date posted: 4y

@lukair23 thank you

lukair23

Date posted: 4y

I have exactly the same kind of ocd as you, and I know it’s a nightmare. Trust me on that one, ERP is your answer. Get some help , but whatever you do, don’t ruminate, don’t google stuff.

abby

Date posted: 4y

okay, cuz I keep telling myself I have done nothing wrong, but its just the fact that my bf was uncomfortable with us talking just cuz of our history and I reassured him I'd never do anything and I feel like I'm a liar

lukair23

Date posted: 4y

@abby The thing is you start a conversation with ocd that will NEVER lead to something good. I know cause I had them all. You just feed into the mental illness. You make it worse by debating good or bad, by rumanating. The more you do that the worse it gets. ERP is the solution, trust me. Relax, read the article, and then do the work. It will work. Just don’t give in to compulsions.

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