This post may be triggering for those with SOOCD, so please don’t read if you’re in a vulnerable spot in your recovery. I feel like this will end my marriage. I’ve read things on this app that triggered me, and I’m doing a lot to keep going. But I feel like every day is a new battle. Someone said that finding women more sexually arousing in porn is a common theme for lesbians. I do have that, but I also love and want to be with my husband. My sex life has always been pretty hard due to anxiety. Am I in denial then? What’s happening to me. Last time I had sex was miserable. My therapist thinks I’m making progress but I keep having dreams with naked women where in the dream I cry because I’m afraid I feel aroused. I’m not aroused by abs on men. He told me to look at pictures of men with abs for exposure but I tried today and I feel helpless. I’m not hopeful sex will get better or that I’ll ever get out of this.

I'm sorry you are going through such a hard time with this. OCD sucks! I know its hard but, remember you are in control. You do not have to end your marriage due to these thoughts. It sounds like you really love your husband and want to be with him. The distress is making you want to leave but that doesn't align with your values!I get everyday feels like a new battle. My OCD twists and turns all the time and brings up something new. Trying to expect it and not use it as proof everytime something comes up is hard to put into practice, but it does help. I think alot of stuff you are saying has other explanations besides OCD but OCD is using it as an explanation. Lots of people have all types of sexual feelings, it doesn't have to mean anything. Your sex life is difficult because of OCD not that something is wrong with you. Also sex isn't 100% good every time, that's just life. My therapist has had me do similar exposures but the response prevention is the most important part. I know it's so hard, but when you do an exposure whatever you feel is ok. If you dont feel aroused by a guys abs that's fine! Don't analyze it further or what it means. It's not proof of anything. I hope you feel better ❤