wowww i’m having a panic attack. the requirement to be a pedophile in my country is 16. i’m terrified, i’m so scared. ocd is so horrible

is googling a compulsion ?

@e Absolutely

@JBC94 oh gosh, i never knew that! i never even knew reassurance was a compulsion either. ocd sucks

@e Yes. Googling and confessing were two huge ones for me.

@christinejg94 confessing???? like telling people ? omg... i never knew this

wow, so i can only wait this thing out? i’ve been trying to stop the anxiety for about a year now! this disorder is so horrible. i hope this passes soon, i’m getting tired of all of the thinking.

ah, okay!! that’s amazing, by the way. recovery is difficult. how can i do this with pocd? i know a compulsion i have is to check if i’m feeling aroused/attracted when looking at videos of children. should i try focus on something in the video instead ? like their laugh, smile etc

@e So this is a compulsion I struggle with myself more than others these days. That trap of “feeling checking”. It’s such a sneaky compulsion. I’m hesitant to speculate on this because I haven’t found an answer for myself. Like for me, if I see something that I think “should” make me happy and I don’t feel exactly the way I think I should, I get anxious and begin a mental spiral of trying to figure it out. It’s fairly exhausting haha.

@e With POCD you would watch the videos and don’t do any body scans, let your thoughts be without analyzing them and the fear you’re feeling, just let it be. The point of ERP is to trigger a highly emotional state and let it go away naturally. It seems you definitely need to realize what you’re compulsions are first so you can recognize and prevent them but it looks like you are on the way!

i’m so proud you did that! it must have been difficult, but it helped.

thank you!!

@e Okay, what main themes have you noticed?

@christinejg94 main themes of ocd ?

@e Yes. That way I can help you more accurately with common compulsions

@christinejg94 oh ok!! umm... pocd, rocd are the main ones. sometimes sexuality ocd, let me think of some more

@e Sorry, my day has been super busy! Rocd is relationship, right? Okay so for ROCD and POCD for me the compulsions are mainly mental. So while you may think it’s an obsession it’s probably a compulsion. Anything you are doing mentally that you will not let yourself be interrupted from, or you will literally stop what you are doing to get up, walk around and “think” about it is a compulsion. I would often ruminate and replay situations over and over and over and over again in my head to gauge how bad it was, that’s a compulsion. It didn’t feel like it because it always left me feeling worse but it was because the intention was to convince myself if wasn’t bad and feel better. Googling is a huge compulsion. Googling how pedophiles feel, what the legal definition is, ect. You are doing that to try to convince yourself you aren’t one. That’s a compulsion. With ROCD I would often play real life scenarios over and over and try to figure out what they meant, or play hypothetical situations in my head to gauge how I’d feel. That’s all compulsions. I had a lot of “confessing” with both my POCD and ROCD. You may have it for harm too. That’s when you tell someone (or anyone, or everyone) what you did and gauge their reaction. Again you are ultimately seeking reassurance and it’s a compulsion. I used to write a big list of things I felt bad about or worried were really bad and bring them to my therapist. She would reassure me and an hour later I’d have a new list. Confessing is most definitely a confession.

@christinejg94 hi! i just woke up! hope you’re doing well. ahhhh, okay! thank you so much. i had no idea confessing was a compulsion. i’m quite new to all this ocd stuff. i definitely confess. mainly to be told i’m valid and i’m not who my thoughts are, you know? googling too! i posted this but then realised i have to be at least 16 to be diagnosed as a pedophile. it doesn’t mean if i date someone 14/15 i’ll be arrested. thank you sm for this!

@e You’re welcome! I hope you get the help you need. :)

contamination, symmetry and harm are there too :)

@e For contamination if you have a set routine when it comes to anything contaminated then it’s a compulsion. Physical compulsions are often easier to prevent because you can see them.