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- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
i think you should just tell ur man what u want or need during sex tbh aside from everything else bc you’re completely normal most girls do the same things but yeah def tell him what u want
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- 4y
I will. You gave great advice about that, seriously thank you. I guess it’s hard when as a girl you’re never really told you get a say in sex? That may have just been my upbringing though
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- 4y
@wellwellwell oh girl my mom always taught me that the girls needs come first. and every time i’ve told a guy what i want they LOVE it even if you have to teach them a little at first
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- 4y
i really do not think you sound bi. who told you that?
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- 4y
A lesbian woman on reddit. I don’t know, I’m losing my mind. I have no idea which way is up anymore. OCD really is like mind numbing at times, you know?
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- 4y
@wellwellwell i do, i understand. i’m sorry she said that. if it makes you feel better, I just got the thought that saying i’m “queer” would feel right.
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- 4y
@doloresguppies Yeah, I’m trying to get used to “it’s okay to not be 100% straight”. And that some attraction to women is not abnormal or bad.
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- 4y
@wellwellwell that makes me so anxious. i don’t want to be “queer”. i don’t want to have ANY attraction to women
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- 4y
@doloresguppies Literally me neither, but I’m hoping that writing this down will desensitize mr
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- 4y
@wellwellwell Like they say that’s what erp is supposed to be right?? So if I say it enough I’ll eventually be like screw this, I don’t even believe this
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- 4y
@wellwellwell I get it though, having those thoughts pop up like “oh this feels like I’m queer” are TERRIFYING
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- 4y
@wellwellwell i saw that tilda swintom came out as queer, and I was like “that would feel right for me” and it felt true i’m so scared
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- 4y
@wellwellwell can this start at 11??
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- 4y
@doloresguppies What helped me is remembering how I was before this. Before this happened, would you read that and ever think like that? No. OCD is making you think you feel this way. That’s why I’m trying erp, I just want this stuff to ens
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- 4y
@wellwellwell Mine started at 13, so I definitely think so
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- 4y
Yeah you have to tell your husband how you want to have sex for you to enjoy it just saying. I mean I have a lot of respect for women too but I like to think of myself as a good boy in the streets but a freak in the bed haha. I mean if you like sex a certain way I don’t think it should be a problem for your husband to accommodate you unless your husband is a really good dude through and through then I would suggest doing some reading on how to talk with your husband about your sexual wants and needs. I mean if it’s meh right now then it can only go up.. haha. Just talk with him.
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- 4y
I read the master doc and use it as exposure, ocd tries to tell me how I felt when I was younger and flip it on me forcing my attractions for men instead of it being genuine. It uses the things on the list and said I did that or felt that way, although it causes me major anxiety and feel like I have to try to remember it perfectly I can’t and have to sit with it the best I can. I wouldn’t read it as reassurance though, it’s only a compulsion.
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 24w
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- Date posted
- 13w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
- Date posted
- 10w
Hi everyone, I’m a 30-year-old woman, and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years. I’ve always felt emotionally close to him — he’s caring, supportive, and we planned a future together, including having a family. I don’t want to leave him. He means so much to me. But for a while now, I’ve been obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction to him anymore. It’s not like I never felt anything — when we first met, there were butterflies, excitement, emotional connection… something real. He was never “just a friend” to me. But the physical side of the relationship feels like it’s slowly faded, and I’m panicking about what that means. I keep thinking things like: – “Maybe I chose the wrong person.” – “You can’t be in love without sexual desire.” – “If I was truly in love, I would still want him.” – “What if I’ve been lying to myself this whole time?” Sometimes my body reacts — I can feel physical closeness or even arousal — but my mind shuts down and says: “no, this isn’t right.” Other times, I feel tension, resistance, or even disgust during intimacy, and I can’t tell if that’s anxiety or if something is fundamentally wrong. What makes this even more confusing is that I truly believe that real love includes sexual attraction. For me, it’s all part of one feeling — not separate. So if the attraction is gone, does that mean the love is too? Is it possible that this is still OCD — that my mind is obsessing and disconnecting me from my real feelings? Has anyone experienced something similar? Any support would mean so much. I feel so stuck between my mind and my heart.
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