- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
i think you should just tell ur man what u want or need during sex tbh aside from everything else bc you’re completely normal most girls do the same things but yeah def tell him what u want
- Date posted
- 4y
I will. You gave great advice about that, seriously thank you. I guess it’s hard when as a girl you’re never really told you get a say in sex? That may have just been my upbringing though
- Date posted
- 4y
@wellwellwell oh girl my mom always taught me that the girls needs come first. and every time i’ve told a guy what i want they LOVE it even if you have to teach them a little at first
- Date posted
- 4y
i really do not think you sound bi. who told you that?
- Date posted
- 4y
A lesbian woman on reddit. I don’t know, I’m losing my mind. I have no idea which way is up anymore. OCD really is like mind numbing at times, you know?
- Date posted
- 4y
@wellwellwell i do, i understand. i’m sorry she said that. if it makes you feel better, I just got the thought that saying i’m “queer” would feel right.
- Date posted
- 4y
@doloresguppies Yeah, I’m trying to get used to “it’s okay to not be 100% straight”. And that some attraction to women is not abnormal or bad.
- Date posted
- 4y
@wellwellwell that makes me so anxious. i don’t want to be “queer”. i don’t want to have ANY attraction to women
- Date posted
- 4y
@doloresguppies Literally me neither, but I’m hoping that writing this down will desensitize mr
- Date posted
- 4y
@wellwellwell Like they say that’s what erp is supposed to be right?? So if I say it enough I’ll eventually be like screw this, I don’t even believe this
- Date posted
- 4y
@wellwellwell I get it though, having those thoughts pop up like “oh this feels like I’m queer” are TERRIFYING
- Date posted
- 4y
@wellwellwell i saw that tilda swintom came out as queer, and I was like “that would feel right for me” and it felt true i’m so scared
- Date posted
- 4y
@wellwellwell can this start at 11??
- Date posted
- 4y
@doloresguppies What helped me is remembering how I was before this. Before this happened, would you read that and ever think like that? No. OCD is making you think you feel this way. That’s why I’m trying erp, I just want this stuff to ens
- Date posted
- 4y
@wellwellwell Mine started at 13, so I definitely think so
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah you have to tell your husband how you want to have sex for you to enjoy it just saying. I mean I have a lot of respect for women too but I like to think of myself as a good boy in the streets but a freak in the bed haha. I mean if you like sex a certain way I don’t think it should be a problem for your husband to accommodate you unless your husband is a really good dude through and through then I would suggest doing some reading on how to talk with your husband about your sexual wants and needs. I mean if it’s meh right now then it can only go up.. haha. Just talk with him.
- Date posted
- 4y
I read the master doc and use it as exposure, ocd tries to tell me how I felt when I was younger and flip it on me forcing my attractions for men instead of it being genuine. It uses the things on the list and said I did that or felt that way, although it causes me major anxiety and feel like I have to try to remember it perfectly I can’t and have to sit with it the best I can. I wouldn’t read it as reassurance though, it’s only a compulsion.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Idk what else to title this. I was watching a film cooper video cuz why not and he mentioned smthn about wall paper customization and icons and stuff and I just kinda had a groinal response followed by the memory of me having my first crush on a woman (my friend at the time) that helped me figure out that I’m bi and I felt kinda intensely for her but that’s cuz a) it was new and b) we were kinda on again off again friends who haven’t spoken in a few years now and I’m over her entirely. It was toxic I think. She was too much like the person who bullied me in elementary school (they were friends as well so my mom made me cut her off which is. Fair. Made me really sad but eh that’s life) I saw her at prom cuz someone brought her. It was nice to see her but yeah that was it. And now I’m mentally comparing what I felt for women in the past (idk intense crush, listening to a lot of gay songs (think she by dodie) dressing semi masc cuz funky, we had nicknames for each other despite not dating or anything) to men (less intense crush but still big crush, I’ve only dated and kissed men so sparks rhere) and now I’m just slightly nauseous and worried that I don’t like men as much as I like women but I think that’s normal for any bi person? To have different levels of attraction to different genders? Idk I feel gross and icky now like I shouldn’t even be thinking about it or her cuz I have a bf. And I do look fondly upon it, now I’m nervous cuz I got more excited about her calling me a specific nickname than I do from my bf calling me honey even at the beginning? Honey felt more traditional and I love it but we do switch around nicknames and it’s always nice, not many butterflies anymore, and sometimes I get anxious when he does lately, if it’s a nickname in Portuguese. Or if he called me a shortened version of my name. What does that mean? I’m nervous now. I was doing half decently today now I’m nauseous again. I’m worried that cuz I liked the nicknames she and I had that means I don’t like the ones my bf and I have and that I just don’t like him or men cuz I’ve been feeling off around him. But I love when he calls me honey, it still feels good when he does it now but no butterflies. Idk what’s wrong with me. Is it even ocd at this point. Even if I do like women slightly more it doesn’t erase that I love my bf. I’m worried I’m leaning too much towards women tho and I’m a lesbian. Idk if my bi cycle is cycling or if I’m just a lesbian entirely cuz I don’t feel much when my bf takes off his shirt, sex feels different, and things feel stale and slow. But maybe that’s cuz I’m checking and comparing. Now I’m anxious fuck. I’m trying not to think about her idk why. I’m worried I still find her attractive or am attracted to her or smthn. She’s in my city. I didn’t care before but now I do. Or if I think about her I’ll think about other women and will only want to have sec with women which not really tbh. I wanna be able to enjoy sec with my bf. It just hasn’t felt right lately cuz I’ve been so depressed and obsessive. I wasn’t obsessing much last night when we had sex but it still didn’t feel passionate. It didn’t feel uncomfortable but I thought it’d be more? Idk. I know it’s normal to not feel him inside me cuz the vagina isn’t very nerved up compared to the clitoris but it felt like more the motions. But tbh. I needed it. Idk I wanted to have sex and it was a nice stress relief. I just didn’t feel butterflies which kinda bummed me out but we’ve been having sex since august so that’s normal. Idk. I haven’t been able to fantasize about sex. The fact that I’m bi makes all of this so confusing. Cuz yes hypothetically I can enjoy the thought of sex with a woman. But I don’t want to rn cuz I’m dating a man. And I can’t fantasize about sex with him cuz I’m getting intrusive thoughts about my friends and I having sex. I have this urge to watch porn cuz it’s been a while but I’m not going to. I’ve cut down a lot on masturbation. Partially cuz this partially cuz I wanna do things with my bf (when I’m mentally ok) but jow my brain is saying “Oo you think all these women are so hot you’re gonna go feral blah blah blah” and yes women are hot but I don’t wanna have sex with a woman. Idk saying women are hot doesn’t bring me anxiety but the thought of sex with one or leaving my bf and saying I’m a lesbian bother me. Cuz I know it’s not true. I love him I know that. I’d be happy if we stayed together. I wouldn’t regret a thing honestly. I like having sex with him. Idc if it’s not like porn or the movies. As long as I’m being pleasured and he’s being pleasured we’re good. That’s what sex is about. I think the loss of butterflies is normal cuz the excitement of like (sorry tmi) fingering and oral eventually wears off right? But still feels good. I don’t feel as excited about intimacy anymore cuz we have done it so often but it still feels nice. But my brain perceives that as me not liking sex with men and therefore I’m gay. No I just don’t feel the need to jump his bones every single time I see him?? Idk the friend thing is bothering me. Idk if I feel any joy behind it. The groinal response really really throws my perception off
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- Sexual Orientation OCD
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- Date posted
- 21w
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
- Date posted
- 11w
I struggle with HOCD or SOOCD. I’m a married young woman to an amazing husband. I’ve had this since I was 16 but it only came in flair ups. However this round started in October, and it’s been really rough and I would just break down all the time. I went up on my medication and I actually noticed a difference! My thoughts were still very present but I wasn’t really paying attention to them or giving them power. HOWEVER right when I thought I was getting better, my brain started feeling and saying to myself that I just know I am bi but you want to make excuses for it like “oh it’s normal to find someone hot since we as a society have an interpretation of what that looks like” or “I see the girl as myself and that’s what ‘turns’ me on” or “well I mean that girl looks kind of like a man” and it’s it’s making me spiral. I won’t ever come out as Bi as deep in my soul I don’t feel I am. I have always wanted to be with men sexually and romantically and that has not changed but my brain is making me believe I am and I just don’t want to admit it. Please help me, what has helped you?
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