i see a lot of people here who have sexuality ocd and have intrusive thoughts that they are gay. can it happen to gay people? is anyone here worried that they are actually straight? i’m not sure if its soocd or internalised homophobia

ahh, okay. mine isn’t that bad, but i think i definitely have some hetero ocd

@e my tip would be to not let it sit there for that long. work on it early. I should’ve done that haha.

@Rayri good idea. you’ve got this :)

@e Are you gay? Wondering how you knew

@rachel1219 yes! i used a google doc called ‘am i a lesbian?’. its not just for lesbians (it helped my friend realize he was bi!), and can really be for any sexuality if you change around the words a little. i deal with comphet, which the document talks about :)

@e And also when you were trying to figure out your sexuality - were you ruminating and thinking about it alll day long - doing compulsions etc etc

@rachel1219 i would think about it a lot, but i was able to just shut the thoughts away and force myself to be heterosexual. at any point i could force them to stop. it was frustrating and no, i had no compulsions.

@e Oh ok got it . Sometimes it seems with my daughter it’s HOCD or sometimes I don’t know

@e But were you ever depressed with these thoughts or felt like you wanted those thoughts to go away !?

@rachel1219 yes i was depressed. i was scared and confused, and i wanted to just stop the emotions. it’s internalized homophobia. i knew deep down i was attracted to girls, but i just didn’t want to accept it. my friend is gay too, and he realized he didn’t like girls and instead liked guys. he had no issue with it at all. it depends on the person.

@e Got it . With my daughter she still currently like boys

@e She said she also has a lot of anxiety and can’t get it off her mind

@rachel1219 try help her accept uncertainty. it’s hard, but helps the thoughts.

@e She ruminates on them All day... creating fake scenarios in her head to prove she is gay... says her brain is telling her that she likes girls ... just seems so odd to Me. I just don’t think that is how it works ... that’s why it seems more HOCD to me

@rachel1219 if you suspect it’s hocd, bring her to a therapist. my parents thought that i was depressed because i was questioning, so they got me a therapist. i wasn’t questioning, but the therapy did help me accept myself. so even if it is her confused, she will learn to accept herself. if it is hocd, she will learn how to stop the thoughts

no problem!

i dont mind these questions at all! i was given the document by a friend! but you can google ‘am i a lesbian google doc’ to find it. i realized i was sexually attracted to girls when i was around 12, and identified as bisexual. i tried to come out to my parents but they said i was too young, so i forced myself to identify as straight. when i was 15, i met a girl online and she was very pretty. i found myself wanting to kiss her and thinking about it. i texted my friend (who is gay) and asked ‘is it gay to think about kissing ___?’ and they replied with yes. it was a big shock and i realized that i was bi. after about 7 months, i realized i had never properly liked a boy. i told a friend and she gave me the document. after reading that document it took about a week to go ‘i’m a lesbian!’ but a lot longer to accept myself. i have my ups and downs, but after about a year i’ve come to terms with it and rarely get frustrated with my sexuality unless provoked.

no, i enjoy the thought of being intimate with a girl. if i ever liked a boy it would be infatuation. it’s a sign of compulsory heterosexuality. please give your daughter time. it took me a long, long time to realize my sexuality

@e She says her thoughts bother her of another girl and she wants them to go away

great! intrusive thoughts make me uncomfortable, but these thoughts with girls did not. it’s not every single girl for me

yes! i have tiktok, and sometimes i’ll replay videos of pretty girls a few times. but the thing is... i have more celebrity crushes on male celebs than girl celebs. it confuses a lot of people. but when it comes to the people i know in school, i find the girls more attractive.

yes! i haven’t actually had a proper crush on a girl i know in person, but the thought of dating a man is unappealing to me. she will eventually know what she wants! the google document i mentioned really helped explain what certain feelings mean

it hasnt! because society pushes heterosexuality, i actually enjoyed the thought of being with a man. after a while, i noticed that the man has an unrealistic body and my ideal type of man was impossible to find. he also had no face. its kind of hard to explain. i then pictured myself with a woman, and i have almost no ideal type of woman to marry. if i like her, i like her! many things about men made me dislike them. it was impossible to find a man that i genuinely liked and was comfortable around. i hope this makes sense! it’s quite hard to explain.