Robin545
- Date posted
- 4y
Robin545Robin545
- Date posted
- 4y
Everyone going through this - you're an incredibly strong person šŖ
Robin545Robin545
- Date posted
- 4y
Trigger warning. I have experienced these types of thoughts at ages 14, 15, 18, 21, and now 26. The thoughts lasted for weeks, sometimes months. In this current bout, it's been about 6 months. The thoughts for me are usually "what if I'm gay", "what if I'm already gay and don't know it", and "what if one day I suddenly turn gay". For me personally, my thoughts would sometimes tell me that my sexuality had changed, but at the same time I'd know it hadn't. The one thing that remained the same was my attraction to women and my lack of attraction to men. I feel like if I were gay, I'd know by now, or I'd at least have had experiences where I was attracted to someone of the same sex. That doesn't mean my thoughts feels any less real though when I experienced them. Its odd. I think the point I'm trying to make is that when dealing with this, things don't make sense, reality is bent, and you doubt everything. Take a step back. And also remember that everyone's experience is different :)
Robin545Robin545
- Date posted
- 4y
I'd also like to add that because I felt I was the only person on the planet with this, I never sought help or support until now. I wish I'd spoke up sooner and taken action!
rachel1219rachel1219
- Date posted
- 4y
Were your thoughts sexual I nature ? And did they give you groinals ? Like with my daughter with every girl she sees she has have sexual intrusive thoughts about - checking her out - wondering if she is pretty - etc etc etc. she is almost 13 and it came on from nowhere. Were you able to make it through life normally and did your parents try to help you in any sort of way ?
rachel1219rachel1219
- Date posted
- 4y
@rachel1219 What do you mean lack of attraction to men? Did you not use to look at men at all and think they looked good ?
rachel1219rachel1219
- Date posted
- 4y
And how did your thoughts first get triggered at age 14?
Robin545Robin545
- Date posted
- 4y
@rachel1219 My thoughts were and are still sometimes sexual in nature, but they're more compulsions. I think about or look at what gets me triggered to see how I react. Ill analyse my responses until it drives me crazy. I have experienced the groinal response and also feel my body tense up as if its about to be sick as a result of this testing. I didn't tell my parents, I kept it to myself until this year. The thoughts always seemed to just disappear, so I would ride it out. I did continue a normal life and have been involved in multiple relationships and I'm currently in one now. My partner is aware of what I'm going through too and supports me. In response to your second part - I could always and still tell if a man is good looking but it never panicked me. Whenever I'd panic and think I was sexually attracted to a man, it was more the thought that panicked me, the possibility. I didn't actually think it if that makes sense. It's hard to tell what triggered all of this. It wasn't a single event in my case. I moved to a new country when I was young and bullies would call me gay for being different. I had no idea what the word really meant, but they made it sound awful. I then saw a few storyline on TV dramas where a character would suddenly turn gay and their whole world would turn upside down and everyone they loved would turn on them. I once also took a "manliness" quiz when I was 14 and the result said I was gay. I was mortified ha! Tv dramas still trigger me to this day and thats something I want to work into ERP.
Iwashere2Iwashere2
- Date posted
- 4y
We are eerily identical about how lur intrusive thoughts went about. I was having thoughts in 2015 when I was in high school, was a nervous wreck all the time, then it went dormant until last year. Quarantine really took alot of jobs ands responsibilities away from me so I think it left me alone for my brain to come up with some intrusive thoughts to scare me.
Robin545Robin545
- Date posted
- 4y
Completely relate to that! One night I thought back to 2015 and was like "wow isn't it crazy you use to think about that and would question your...shit...shit...shit" then bam all came flooding back š
Iwashere2Iwashere2
- Date posted
- 4y
@Robin545 I'm sorry that you're struggling, but it's also a bit relieving to know how similar peoples stories are to mine. OCD has a tendency to make me feel like I'm the exception and it's not OCD.
Robin545Robin545
- Date posted
- 4y
@Iwashere2 I know what you mean, the thought process really makes you feel like an alien!
ItsgonnabeokayItsgonnabeokay
- Date posted
- 4y
Omg mine returned too...literally so angry about it
Robin545Robin545
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah it seems to happen sometimes! š how long was the gap for you?
rachel1219rachel1219
- Date posted
- 4y
How old were you when you had them and when they went away ? And what kind of intrusive thoughts were they ? Just curious ....... did you ever feel like your sexuality had completely changed ??
rachel1219rachel1219
- Date posted
- 4y
Ok with my daughter she does a few things . This all started from watching a video on TikTok of two girls. Before this she was completely boy crazy . Now she looks at each and every girl and checks their body out and wonders if she is attracted to them . She made a list of pros and cons of both genders. She says she is giving off gay vibes to her friends and she feels she has same sex dreams and then gets stuck in them all day long and that stresses her out that it will make her gay. I want to help her but I donāt know how . Should I just tell her to ride the thoughrs out? I mean she is almost 13 in the next 6 months. I would think she would know if she was 100 percent gay . Any girl she sees she has sexual intrusive thoughts about.
Robin545Robin545
- Date posted
- 4y
I'm in no way in a position to dish out advice, but I'd say the best thing you can do is to support her by listening and do your best not to reassure her. Have faith that she'll figure this out. No matter her sexuality, she'll figure it all out. Professional help and guidance is also a massive benefit. Some things I do that help: - Headspace meditation (I responded really well to this) - Exercise (even just a walk) - Nutrition I basically do everything I can to help my mind deal with whats going on. I have days where I skip some of this stuff, but I don't beat myself up about, just pick it back up the next day.
rachel1219rachel1219
- Date posted
- 4y
My daughter does compulsions to prove to herself that she is straight
Robin545Robin545
- Date posted
- 4y
I would sometimes do that and still do if I have a bad day. The result is always the same as long as I stay calm. I do my best not to engage the compulsions now.
ItsgonnabeokayItsgonnabeokay
- Date posted
- 4y
I had a really bad spike about 1.5 years ago and it kinda ebbed and flowed after that but itās back! I thought I had it under control guess not lol
Related posts
Anonymous
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 15w
SO-OCD Progress
Ever since starting ERP, my SO-OCD and general OCD has lowered. This has been great. I just wanted to have somewhere to share my thoughts and ask questions. For anyone else, have you realized that the SO-OCD and other forms of OCD are all rooted in what people have said in the past that I hadnāt processed, and up to this point believed hadnāt affected me. It was also odd because to me, I had never had a problem questioning my sexuality, even labeling myself as queer. However, this fear plagued my thoughts whether or not I decided to identity as straight, lesbian, bisexual, etc. It was so weird to me because it felt so foreign to how Iāve always been. I hated the guilt I felt over possibly being in denial or in the closet, over being homophobic, and all of that would just lead to constant stress and spiral. I felt so bad dating or being with my friends, on the off chance I was using them or going to cross lines. Progress isnāt linear, but I definetly feel so much better shedding the random fear I had of expressing affection towards my friends or of āusing guysā to prove I was straight. Most of the time, I find that the stress comes from something really real. Like my past experiences with an old friend that I had or just not liking the guy I was dating and not wanting to lead him on. Being able to discern the OCD thoughts and stress from regular stress has been like a breath of fresh air.
lissamls
- Date posted
- 10w
pocd
hi, it's been 2 months since I used this app but i wanted to come back just to vent a little. i started having intrusive thoughts back in october 2024 and it still persists today. i felt really bad and was in a horrible cycle of having intrusive thoughts all the time, dealing with false attraction, and spend hours analyzing my feelings. Nowadays, i don't have that same feeling anymore, it took about 2 months to get rid of that cycle a little. nowadays, when i have intrusive thoughts, unwanted bodily reactions or even false attraction, i just ignore them, i have no desire to care about it anymore. Seriously, i really can't care anymore. some days i feel great and other days i feel a little down again, but it's not the same as before. i uninstalled the app so iwwouldn't have to look for reassurance and i managed to get rid of it :) i haven't gotten rid of everything yet, but i can say that starting to not care whether such attraction is real or not, intrusive thoughts and such helps a lot. (im using a translator so i apologize if there are some mistakes)
What is happ...
- Date posted
- 10w
Can anyone relate??????
I feel that Iāve come on extremely well. I still canāt accept uncertainty. My attraction to the opposite gender (females) comes back but doesnāt last how it used to too. I feel that excitement, thoughts like āsheās well fitā then a horrible depressed feeling and those voices saying ābut you donāt like females anymoreā¦ā The false attraction towards same gender (male) isnāt as bad as it was. It used to be every single male, old young, big, small, even voices, cartoons and so on. Now itās a quick spike when I see a male followed by disgusted, I still pull a horrible face and I shake depending on how bad the thoughts/ feelings. This HOCD/SOOCD happened 14 years ago but not as severe as this time round. Then just went for 14 years. Has anyone been through the same and got through it??
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