Hi. I need an opinion on this. Or help? Please be careful as this post might be of mature topics. I'm 25, f. I am diagnosed with ocd and I have to ask you all a question. Please if you are less than 18 I don't think this is appropriate to you but you are warned even though this post is not explicitl I have pervert ocd if that's a thing. I'm gay and I think I'm a pervert for lusting after women (pls note that I'm only talking about myself I don't think lesbian are perverts or monsters) and I know a lot of people (gay woman) suffer from this. I am very touched starved. Never dated. I want to but I am shy and finding the right one is too hard. I never meet anyone either. I'm also ugly plus I am not interesting. I'm just sweet and thoughtful but I'm a boring person. I was about to take a nap when I started fantasizing being with a woman, a imagined one. (note. This has happened a ton of times in the past few months... And I feel embarrassed by it. I feel like I just want s-x but that's not true... I feel so ashamed that is all I think about at night. Ugh but I don't persue anyone - I'm a kind person, I hope.) I was falling asleep and idk if this was a dream or an actual fantasy, my memories are fuzzy, but I was, excuse my rudeness, "sucking" the chest area - after I woke up I felt so guilty that I have not been able to calm down. I have been having a lot of sexual fantasies where I'm the dominant one and I feel like a pervert. (me doing the touching...) I feel like a monster for wanting to kiss a woman's lips and body and touch her (ofc wit consent) Thank you for the help... I'm so sorry for the long writing. I had to create an anonymous account just because of this. I'm so sorry for being annoying?

"Pure" OCD

YaBoio

Date posted: 4y

Your very brave for coming on here and you are totally ok. Please dont be so hard on yourself you are only human. Wether you enjoy fantasy’s or not does not define you. Your a lovely person and I’m sure you’ll find a lovely partner someday. Work on your ocd I believe in you.

myocdstory

Date posted: 4y

Thank you so much. I'm just trying to figure out if my fantasies are normal. I have a hard time to understand if my "desires" are ok or not. Obviously, I'd never do anything against a person's wishes but me wanting this.... Is it wrong? (sighs) sorry. I'm babbling too much.

Dani1980

Date posted: 4y

No need to be embarrassed or apologize. I think that what you’re explaining can be categorized as sexually intrusive thoughts if they make you feel this way. Are you in therapy at all?

myocdstory

Date posted: 4y

I don't know if this can be categorized as intrusive thoughts because... Well, I'd like to do this one day. It's not an urge... More like a desire? And I do not know if this is ok or just plain wrong... I know I'm not supposed to look for reassurence but everything I "wish" for (sexually, in this context) feels evil and I don't know if I'm indeed an awful person or think I'm an awful person for wanting this.

YaBoio

Date posted: 4y

Think of an actor having a criminal role. They enjoyed their role it was fun, interesting being that ex. Does that make them a criminal? Did they satisfy a desire of theirs? Are they going out to do crimes?Nope it was just a fantasy it was a role they played and fantasies don’t devalue a person and don’t make them who they are. Humans are very curious it’s almost pure in away. How many kids went up to me and said “I’m a big monster and I’m going to eat you!” It’s adorable but what they said does sound pretty morbid. In the end it’s just a fantasy with no deep meaning. No one thinks of this kid being wack for thinking about being a monster eating people alive. In the end we have so much creativity and wonder and do so without harming a soul. Ps(I don’t care if this is reassurance I’m just a bean)

Anonymoussssss

Date posted: 4y

Everyone has sexual fantasies, like everyone! I fantasise about women too, that doesn’t really mean I’ll do inappropriate things with them. Our actions define us, not our thoughts!

Daisy102

Date posted: 4y

Hey, I'm not totally sure the best way to answer your question, H, but know I'm thinking of and praying for you. I know it's hard right now ... I think just do what you think is right and feel good about for right now

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