God, this disturbing/unwanted thought will persistently bother me all day. I have to keep thinking about it over and over again. I try to erase it from my mind, I really do

Nice to meet you. I am 19. I hope my advice was able to help you. What are your themes? Have you been doing ERP?

Exposure and response prevention therapy. This is when therapists will typically expose patients with their deepest fears, trigger their anxiety and panic, but let it go away by doing absolutely nothing until they're used to this practice. You should give it a try!

That's the point. It's supposed to make you immensely uncomfortable until your body gets used to the fact that you don't have to do any compulsions to remove any intrusive thoughts, bad feelings, or anxiety. Take it at your own pace though. Everyone reacts different with this therapy. It's completely fine if you don't get it right the first time.

What would you say your themes are? From what it sounds like, much like me, for the most part repressed memories that are bothering you now. In a way, I can relate to that. Still, you wouldn't have been thinking about it if OCD hadn't latched onto it.

Do you have a therapist?

I do? Heh, thank you. But no I'm not a therapist. I don't even think I'm old enough to be considered one. As long as the medication is helping, that's good for you. But be careful, don't overdo it and take the right amounts.

It's okay to feel uncomfortable the first time around. From what you said, it only sounds like you have intrusive thoughts, so compared to most other situations, it could be easier for you, but I'm not sure. You don't have to rush into ERP and it's perfectly fine that you don't understand it. I still don't fully understand it myself, but it's something that takes practice. You could research up on it or ask advocates how it works and what it can do for others here if that helps.

Oh I deeply apologize I didn't mean to make you feel worse. :(

How are you though? Are you better or worst?

Did I have something to do with that? If so I'm sorry. I only wanted to help you feel better.

What can I do to make it better?

Don't engage with the thoughts, sit when them like any other thought you get in your head. You aren't your OCD.

I am not. Are your meds working for you? I'm not comfortable with the idea of consuming meds unless it's absolutely necessary.

Be patient, let it take time. And if they don't do anything for the night, you should probably talk to your prescriber.

I'm glad you are no longer depressed. :) What do you think can help you with these thoughts?