Lesbian porn addiction Hi, I just need to get this out. I’ve been suffering from HOCD on and off for about 6 years. When I was younger I remember playing mommies and daddies with this boy and girl and I don’t know if that fucked my head up. I probably watched porn from about 13 ? But I’m not sure why lesbian porn always stuck out to me like scenes in movies and I used to watch Sexectera ? (Not sure if that’s what it’s called) but I never fancied a girl in my life. Anyway I think I’ve become addicted to lesbian porn. In school girls used to say ‘oh I’d let a girl eat me out’ and I kinda started to be curious about it. Even writing this I feel disgusted because I don’t want to be bisexual or lesbian. It just doesn’t feel right. I mostly watch girls being eating out by other girls and I’ve been curious as to whether I’d like it. ( I sometimes think of this instance to check if I get a groinal response). Reading erotica and watching porn revolving around lesbian sex has become kinda uncontrollable during quarantine. I feel empty and disappointed with myself become I wanna stop. I also feel trigged as I feel like all influencers, rappers and singers are coming out as bi (not to be homophobic) and it makes me feel uneasy and my brain says (you feel uncomfortable because that’s you). I know porn doesn’t define sexuality but I notice it triggers these intrusive thoughts. And I reassure myself as I also like gay porn and other fetishes which I can get off to. I’ve done extensive research and see that a lot of straight girls prefer lesbian porn but my mind takes it else where. I’m scared that if I get in a relationship will the man want a threesome and will I turn it down ? I feel scared that what if a lesbian comes on to me in the future will I say no ? I know a part of getting better is sitting with the anxiety but I can’t break this. When I’m like ‘no I’m not gonna stop’, sometimes it’s hard to shake and I feel like I want to masturbate. Then I end up reading or watching something involving around lesbian porn and getting a thud/ sensation down below. Once I finish I feel so bad and frustrated like ‘why can’t I get past this’. I feel like there’s pressure as I’m 21 and a virgin and I feel like all the guys I’ve liked has been a lie. I acknowledge that I have this porn induced fetish as outside of masturbation I feel no attraction to girls sexually or romantically. I even talked to a few girls on a chat room (dirty talk) and I was turned on when they spoke about being stuff to me but when I came my turn to talk about what I would do to them I felt disgusted and turned off. Has anyone been through this ? How can I stop this porn addiction ?