i don’t feel good. idk why. i just feel like something is rlly trying to convince me that i’m gay. i’m even worried about figuring out i’m gay in the future 😔

same. it’s very distressing

i’m 14 and it started this year

only my mum knows because my dad wouldn’t understand

@animal35353 It’s the same with my daughter - I know and I am trying to help her - my husvand does not know . How did it start if you don’t mind me asking you and how does your mom help you cope

@rachel1219 my mum knows that she can’t really do much coz it’s all in my head. so what she does is she can tell when i’m not okay, or i’ll let her know. and since we do online school she’ll email my teacher and say that i think she needs the day off to try and relax. during that time i usually sleep it all away and wake up feeling muchhhh better

@animal35353 I got it . Do you feel like every single girl you look at it you are analyzing? I would love to speak to your mom if that’s ok. I would love to understand how she does it

@rachel1219 yes, it used to be all the time. now not so often but i’ve had it for quite a while. i can for sure ask her your questions. that’s no problem

@animal35353 How old are you now

@animal35353 You said you got it when you were 14 and how did you come to terms with it ? And do the thoughrs still come

@animal35353 How did she cope ? Did she use to take it seriously? Or did she use to brush it off?

@animal35353 What is your descent - we are Indian

@rachel1219 i am 14 nearly 15 so i’ve had it almost a year

@rachel1219 i’m on meds so it’s been much better recently and i just got used to the thoughts being there i guess

@animal35353 Which medication? My daughter takes Zoloft so not sure even if that is helping her

@rachel1219 my mum kinda brushed it off and told me it’s normal to question my sexuality. but that just triggered me more. and when i explained it she understands a bit better. but she can tell that it distresses me

@rachel1219 I am British

@rachel1219 i take Fluoxetine. it started helping then i missed a day of taking it so i was set back a bit

@animal35353 Does she get stressed too? Our problem is that we talk about it everyday - perhaps we shouldn’t discuss it everyday . My daughter just went back to school in person

@rachel1219 that might be a good thing. i found that going to school was the best distraction for me. although i was being triggered i would fight it off my doing work. my mum gets more stressed from seeing me stressed

@animal35353 Yes that’s the same thing with me. How was it for you in school ? My sister analyzes every single person and wonders which one she would be with... and then she tells me that her brain is convincing her she needs to be gay.... she is in 7th grade now... and all before this got triggered she only had crushes on guys

@rachel1219 It is very stressful to see but I pray there is light at the end of the tunnel

@rachel1219 there will be. just let her know that it’s going to be okay and that you are there with her not to judge her. it really helps

@animal35353 Did you ever feel like one day you are gay and one day you are completely straight ? She has those days

@rachel1219 i used to get them often. not so much now

@animal35353 Do you think it’s because of the medication or because you are home and not interacting with people or you have just accepted those thoughts

@rachel1219 Problem is some days it feels so real so even i get confused if it’s the HOCD or real it’s so hard

@rachel1219 it’s really hard to tell if it real or not. but all i know is that i find it rlly distressing. and i think it because i let it progress and get worse by keep seeking reassurance

@animal35353 Yes i understand. She feels the same way - she is like “I don’t even know who I am anymore “. It makes her sad and stresses her out - the sexual intrusive thoughts

@rachel1219 yes it’s very distressing. especially for a 13 year old

@animal35353 She literally says she looks at every single woman and wonders if she wants to be with them, if she wants to kiss them , if she is cute

it got triggered by a distressing thh huh ing when i was younger that just kept replaying in my head. and also my first ‘boyfriend’ who said he really liked me and wanted to be with me one day told me he actually didn’t like me. and it really really hurt me. and it kinda started from there. ~ that and the added fact that one day i thought i’d dressed ‘gay’

@animal35353 Did you ever feel like every girl that you saw you checked out , wondered if you wanted to be with her and then felt like you could kiss her ? She literally feels like that with every girl

@rachel1219 yes i did used to feel that. and i mean every single girl. it didn’t matter the age. it even tried to trick me into thinking i like my mum which was veryyyy distressing for me

@animal35353 When did it actually stop? She is like “sometimes I feel like I just kiss her and I will kiss her “...

@rachel1219 Talking to you gives me some hope 🙏🙏🙏 it is very stressful sometimes at home. Even I feel very sad for my daughter.

@rachel1219 it’s scary because when you think about it. you feel like your going to do it. it hasn’t stopped. it’s just not as affective as it used to be. the reason she’s said that is because she’s scared that her thoughts are her actions. i recommend reminding her that just because she’s thought of it doesn’t mean she’s going to do it

@rachel1219 i know it’s horrible. it must be. but it will get better

@animal35353 How do you cope ?? Do you just go about the day and let the thought sit -does seeing pretty girls or any girls make you super anxious

@rachel1219 seeing pretty girls realllllly makes me anxious. and yeh i just cope with it. prehaps there is a deeper meaning?? has your daughter been hurt badly by a guy ? a bf prehaps ?

@animal35353 All I know is that her crushes are long and super hard . Super die hard male crushes

@rachel1219 They aren’t tiny tiny crushes

@rachel1219 maybe a guy has hurt her somehow. that was how mine was triggered. maybe talk to her and see if there is a deeper problem. and maybe work with that. but still. if not. it will help to talk about it

@animal35353 and if she does talk to you. it does really help even if she feels like it won’t.

@animal35353 I know the guy she likes doesn’t like her back. And then she is even now questioning “do I even like him” - maybe I’m gay ? —- it’s hard to see her .... you have been so helpful. She says she has so many strong urges to come out and say she is gay ! And then she says when she watches movies now she just notices the women thinking they are pretty- do you have all this ?

@animal35353 I try to help her a lot. Trust me . I don’t know if I should completely stop talking about this or talk about it everyday . I’ve never had to do this.

@rachel1219 i think talking about it when she feels happy to is important. and yes. everything your explaining i have felt too

@animal35353 Thank you- I’ve read some of your posts too. I think you should be rest assured with the uncertainty. I think you guys are all gonna be fine - but I can understand how the ocd can affect it. It’s amazing how your mom helps you. Maybe just do something to distract you

@rachel1219 i’m glad if i’ve helped. if you or your daughter have any questions i will be honoured to answer them. because me helping you guys helps me coz it helps me understand that i’m not alone

@animal35353 Yes thank you- she has days when she is ok and then days when she is sad. I have her on very minimal medication but I’m scared to up her medication.

@rachel1219 maybe give it a go. it might help

@animal35353 Are you working with a therapist or does your mom just help you ? If you are working with a therapist - what does the therapist say

@rachel1219 She also mentioned she doesn’t have the confidence to know if she is or isn’t gay. Sometimes I do think it’s a confidence issue.

@rachel1219 i don’t have a therapist for ocd. but i do for anxiety and it’s quite different. maybe talk more about the confidence issue ?