Does anyone dealing with hocd happen to look at the same sex in the same way you would look at the opposite sex, but you don’t mean to? For example, ever since my hocd started, I feel like I notice guys butts the same way I check out girls. Only, when I do that with a guy, it’s uncomfortable and it’s like I notice it when I don’t really care or want to notice it. Almost like, with a guy, it sticks out to me like a sore thumb sometimes even though I’m not looking directly at a guys butt or chest if they’re built. With a girl, it I check her out and am attracted, there is arousal like how it’s been my whole life. I feel like every other symptom/compulsion I’ve ever had is hocd, but I shouldn’t be “checking out” men like I do women with hocd. Even though I don’t WANT to check out men and don’t find comfort in doing so. Can anyone relate?

I did the same thing, over the summer, my ocd got so crippling I couldn’t: text my guy friends, watch barely any shows on tv (including animated, silly I know), be around nearly any man outside of my home. It was horrible, and I’ll do the same thing too sometimes, where if one of my guy friends is standing rather close to me and makes a joke that I find funny, I’ll laugh and then feel as if I’m blushing like I have a crush on him or something when I’m just being myself. Very frustrating process that I can relate to with you.

For real, I think my biggest fear out of all of this, too, is getting an erection to a man ever since day 1, even though it has never happened to me. All I’ve ever felt is groinals, which was so frustrating and annoying during when I went through that phase. It’s like my mind has fixed itself that I’m into the same sex even though physically it says otherwise and has always been that way. Before my onset, I NEVER even judged a man on their looks, I just didn’t, but now, it’s so annoying.

@Recoverer Yeah man the worst for me is the staring, analyzing, and hyper vigilance of other guys in public. Like why do I do this stuff???? It’s makes me anxious and freaks me out that I do this in the first place like why

@Anonymous Hopefully my ERP therapy will help train me out of those habits because I hate them too.

I feel you on this

Well we’re at the right place to help us treat this problem thankfully. There were so many days that I wish I could go back to the day this all started and like, changed the activity I was doing or the location I was in. Or to get shock therapy and have my brain wiped of memories. But now we just try to live with it.