- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I don’t want to give you reassurance but this happens to me too. I kind of figured out a huge part of it was anxiety because when I have had a little bit to drink I find myself being reallyyy attracted to men, but don’t go out drinking lol. Also I was scared of intimacy with the last guy I dated but I also wasn’t into him that much which my ocd kind of latches onto sometimes but I have hope that I will find a guy I really connect with in the future.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank U for answering. This is absolute hell and it’s nice to know I’m not alone or a freak
- Date posted
- 4y
@cc97 Haha definitely not alone if you are a freak then I am one too. I just remember freaking out because I saw something on tiktok that basically said someone who was lesbian said they were uncomfortable with being intimate with guys and I have had one boyfriend who I thought I really liked but I was scared to kiss him even after we had been dating for a bit. But like I realized that I was just overthinking because I did really like him and he was like my first boyfriend so I was nervous and I was really sad after we broke up so like just try to focus on the bigger picture instead of just the bad stuff!
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- 4y
As a lesbian I can say that u two definitely aren't lesbian...If u were you'd be more ashamed of yourself and worry about what people will say of they knew...and being anxious around guys doesn't make u lesbian...not being comfortable and being completely repulsed are two different things...U were uncomfortable becoz u were shy and nervous becoz u didn't know what to expect...if u were repulsed u would'nt have even wanted to kiss him let alone be nervous too kiss him
- Date posted
- 4y
Wow thank you for this! I haven’t really thought about what other people would think of me. I am just worried that I would never really connect with a man which really scares me but thank you for clarifying all of this it makes me feel so much better!
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- 4y
Thats helpful. When I ask myself: why would it be so bad if you were a lesbian? I always end up here: because it would mean I cannot be with my boyfriend anymore. Being a lesbian would mean that I cannot be with men so that would be the end of it. I dont have so much a problem with the possibility of being bisexual or just acknowledging that I might not be 100% straight. I dont feel ashamed of that even though I am never really sure what is real and what is ocd.. I know people will love and accept me no matter what, I don't really worry about that (even though I don't mean to downplay the courage it takes to come out), it's the being unsure that feels so terrible... I think my core fear is not really being gay but that I could loose him or mess up what we have built over the last 12 years. That our love is not real. That it was all a lie. I am scared that I could not love him because I love him so much, ughhhh this OCD makes no sense at all 😂🤦♀️
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- 4y
Thank u so much for this
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- 4y
Anytime gurl...My fear is that all my life I've been lying to myself and that I'm not actually lesbian but that I'm either straight or bi and that i just faked or idk believed i was lesbian for 17 years...it's scary...Ocd will literally throw anything at u and do everything in it's power to convince with lies...but you'll be okay...U love ur bf...so focus on that...nothing's gonna change that💙
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- 4y
Thabk you💖! I relate to the fear of having lied to yourself yourself or faked it, just the other way around 😅 but we're all going to be fine if we try to engage with these thoughts the least as possible...
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- 4y
Before my anxiety started to get really bad(super Paranoid) & before hocd started I remember not feeling as anxious around guys and actually having a lot of guy friends. The more anxious and paranoid I become the more I avoided putting myself out there in situations I could get hurt. Is this normal?? Someone plz answer
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- 4y
💙💙💙anytime and ur right...we'll be okay and we'll get through it💕
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
Can having socd make you lose attraction. I have never be the girl to obsess or chase after boys does that mean I’m gay. I had crushes on them but I would rather die then have them know I like them. Plus I knew they were out of my league so even if they did like me I feel like I would say no for some reason. I have been single all my life and thinking of being in a relationship feels so weird and scary and foreign. Like I feel like I won’t be in a relationship. I won’t look good with anyone or I will feel like an imposter. Idk how to explain it. I want to feel love but all this is making me feel like I never will.
- Date posted
- 23w
As someone who has never been in a relationship it’s hard for me to envision myself in one and know what it will feel like. I feel like being 21 I’ve protected myself a lot due to insecurity. I want a boyfriend and yet I don’t it’s just all really scary for me. I never had the stupid relationship to break the ice and now I’m putting so much pressure and emphasis on things and finding the RIGHT person. Also have hocd definitely doesn’t help. I’m working on myself and doing my best. But my current feelings are: I don’t like the way I look, I can’t imagine myself with someone, and I’m never going to find someone I click with and feel good with. Any advice??????
- Date posted
- 17w
At this point of my life I barely have compulsions, barely let them control me, but recently I have realised my OCD is still keeping itself alive by holding me back and making me avoid stuff since I cut compulsions. So I don’t do compulsions but I avoid. And when it comes to SO OCD, I avoid dating. I am in the age where it’s the most common thing to do, I have friends who are getting married and I still haven’t seriously dated my entire life. If I date I date to marry. But it’s making it even harder. My brain tells me I can’t date to marry or date at all because no man will accept the possibility that I am bisexual or the fact I might have intrusive thoughts over sexuality. Worse than that, what’s actually holding me back is the fact that in one of our dates I know I’ll have to bring this up. And what if the man will start to get stressed over it? What if it’ll be too much for him and he’ll leave? And worse-tell the people that know both me and him all the personal things I told him about me having SO OCD? I can’t do this.. I don’t want to do this to myself I don’t want to let go of this secret to any man who can just leave me because of it at any point.. that’s what’s holding me back from dating.. and I want to be brave, I want to just go for it, I want to let it go but am too afraid I am just selling myself and my darkest secrets out there for men who can cancel me at any moment. I gave up on dating… it’s all too complicated for me and I have this voice in the back of my head telling me maybe I wasn’t born for it. Maybe I wasn’t born to get married or be in a relationship, maybe I am not good enough for all of this.. and then OCD adds its own stuff.. maybe I am gay and dating would be lying to myself and the men I date.. too much responsibility..
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