- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I don’t want to give you reassurance but this happens to me too. I kind of figured out a huge part of it was anxiety because when I have had a little bit to drink I find myself being reallyyy attracted to men, but don’t go out drinking lol. Also I was scared of intimacy with the last guy I dated but I also wasn’t into him that much which my ocd kind of latches onto sometimes but I have hope that I will find a guy I really connect with in the future.
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- 4y
Thank U for answering. This is absolute hell and it’s nice to know I’m not alone or a freak
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- 4y
@cc97 Haha definitely not alone if you are a freak then I am one too. I just remember freaking out because I saw something on tiktok that basically said someone who was lesbian said they were uncomfortable with being intimate with guys and I have had one boyfriend who I thought I really liked but I was scared to kiss him even after we had been dating for a bit. But like I realized that I was just overthinking because I did really like him and he was like my first boyfriend so I was nervous and I was really sad after we broke up so like just try to focus on the bigger picture instead of just the bad stuff!
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- 4y
As a lesbian I can say that u two definitely aren't lesbian...If u were you'd be more ashamed of yourself and worry about what people will say of they knew...and being anxious around guys doesn't make u lesbian...not being comfortable and being completely repulsed are two different things...U were uncomfortable becoz u were shy and nervous becoz u didn't know what to expect...if u were repulsed u would'nt have even wanted to kiss him let alone be nervous too kiss him
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- 4y
Wow thank you for this! I haven’t really thought about what other people would think of me. I am just worried that I would never really connect with a man which really scares me but thank you for clarifying all of this it makes me feel so much better!
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- 4y
Thats helpful. When I ask myself: why would it be so bad if you were a lesbian? I always end up here: because it would mean I cannot be with my boyfriend anymore. Being a lesbian would mean that I cannot be with men so that would be the end of it. I dont have so much a problem with the possibility of being bisexual or just acknowledging that I might not be 100% straight. I dont feel ashamed of that even though I am never really sure what is real and what is ocd.. I know people will love and accept me no matter what, I don't really worry about that (even though I don't mean to downplay the courage it takes to come out), it's the being unsure that feels so terrible... I think my core fear is not really being gay but that I could loose him or mess up what we have built over the last 12 years. That our love is not real. That it was all a lie. I am scared that I could not love him because I love him so much, ughhhh this OCD makes no sense at all 😂🤦♀️
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- 4y
Thank u so much for this
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- 4y
Anytime gurl...My fear is that all my life I've been lying to myself and that I'm not actually lesbian but that I'm either straight or bi and that i just faked or idk believed i was lesbian for 17 years...it's scary...Ocd will literally throw anything at u and do everything in it's power to convince with lies...but you'll be okay...U love ur bf...so focus on that...nothing's gonna change that💙
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- 4y
Thabk you💖! I relate to the fear of having lied to yourself yourself or faked it, just the other way around 😅 but we're all going to be fine if we try to engage with these thoughts the least as possible...
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- 4y
Before my anxiety started to get really bad(super Paranoid) & before hocd started I remember not feeling as anxious around guys and actually having a lot of guy friends. The more anxious and paranoid I become the more I avoided putting myself out there in situations I could get hurt. Is this normal?? Someone plz answer
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- 4y
💙💙💙anytime and ur right...we'll be okay and we'll get through it💕
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
At this point of my life I barely have compulsions, barely let them control me, but recently I have realised my OCD is still keeping itself alive by holding me back and making me avoid stuff since I cut compulsions. So I don’t do compulsions but I avoid. And when it comes to SO OCD, I avoid dating. I am in the age where it’s the most common thing to do, I have friends who are getting married and I still haven’t seriously dated my entire life. If I date I date to marry. But it’s making it even harder. My brain tells me I can’t date to marry or date at all because no man will accept the possibility that I am bisexual or the fact I might have intrusive thoughts over sexuality. Worse than that, what’s actually holding me back is the fact that in one of our dates I know I’ll have to bring this up. And what if the man will start to get stressed over it? What if it’ll be too much for him and he’ll leave? And worse-tell the people that know both me and him all the personal things I told him about me having SO OCD? I can’t do this.. I don’t want to do this to myself I don’t want to let go of this secret to any man who can just leave me because of it at any point.. that’s what’s holding me back from dating.. and I want to be brave, I want to just go for it, I want to let it go but am too afraid I am just selling myself and my darkest secrets out there for men who can cancel me at any moment. I gave up on dating… it’s all too complicated for me and I have this voice in the back of my head telling me maybe I wasn’t born for it. Maybe I wasn’t born to get married or be in a relationship, maybe I am not good enough for all of this.. and then OCD adds its own stuff.. maybe I am gay and dating would be lying to myself and the men I date.. too much responsibility..
- Date posted
- 20w
i’m so scared to get into a relationship because i think i’m a avoidant attachment… like i have a fear of losing myself and being too attached to where i won’t love myself but love them more than i love myself… like i’m thinking about the guy i like and thinking about the opportunity to be with him but something tells me i’m gonna back away because of my ocd… i wanna love myself before i get into a relationship… especially this generation of relationships get me really anxious.. it’s like i wanna be in a relationship but i also don’t because of losing myself… i wanna have confidence in myself and like the person and have a relationship with God at the same time… i think i’m doing a compulsion which isn’t good because my ocd themes keep switching
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- 20w
I’ve been seeing tons and tons of videos about avoidant attachments on TikTok a lot! And lieterally all day I was overthinking and crying. I’m not sure if I have avoidance attachment I never got deeper into the meaning of it until yesterday and I’ve seen so many comments about it. I’m starting to think what if I’m one? Is I am how do I change? I fear relationships, I am very independent and will only ask for help if needed. This God at my job likes me and I like the way he acts and he wants a relationship which I’ve already made a few post about him. When we went to church the second time I held his hands and hugged him but I still doubted his looks . He’s not ugly but I don’t think he’s my type so I apologized for holding his hands because I don’t want to lead him on. I have prayed multiple prayers if he’s the one for me. After seeing those avoidant attachment videos I’m afraid I act this way toward the guy that likes me. Then when I ask myself “well do you like him” I get filled with anxiety. I’m not rushing in a relationship but I want to love someone not just someone loving me. Please tell me someone understands.?
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