Please help me. Does anyone have real event ocd that makes you feel you cheated? My mind is going back to a few years where I got drunk at a concert with my husband and sent funny texts to a friend that I saw there (a person who I had cheating ocd themes about prior but didn’t know it was ocd). My husband spotted this person at the concert and since I had cut him out of my life completely, I asked my husband if I could reach out to him to say hi (I thought it would help normalize everything and stop my OCD). Little did I know that it would trigger another episode. I was drinking a lot and I thought I was being funny and showed my husband all the texts back and forth as I was writing them, but after when we got in the car he was upset with me for “ignoring” him. We got into a big fight because I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong but after reviewing all the texts it was clear I sent many back and forth. This was years ago and he forgave me but I can’t forgive myself. I feel like I cheated and wonder if I was being flirtatious in the texts. My mind still won’t let it go. My husband is my everything and I wouldnt want to hurt him. He says he’s over it and he was drunk that night too but I know he was upset. We have kids and I just want to move on and live in peace. But i feel like I don’t deserve it. Please help.

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to me. I really needed this. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

hi, I legit almost cried when I saw this because I’ve been struggling with the same thing for two days now! Agh! It’s a horrible feeling! I love my boyfriend till death and I know I wouldn’t ever hurt him but my brain tells me I did cheat on him and can’t remember!!

We all make mistakes or do things maybe we wouldn't do now. OCD is torturing you and making it seem like you cant do anything wrong or you are the worst person. It does the same exact thing to me. If you guys worked it out and put it behind you, your ocd is compulsively picking it up again and saying let's analyze it and make sure it's ok to let go. But, you can let go now. Also just because this may have been a theme that's bothered you, it's still just thoughts. It's not the same as you having an actual affair and of course the ocd is going to look for evidence though in your behavior to prove either way if you've done anything wrong. Also I'm sure your husband has done things that have upset you too. All we can do is just do our best and work through issues the best we can! You can live in peace now and don't have to wait on OCD. Hope you feel better I know it's hard ❤

I feel this so hard. My mind randomly told me one day that I cheated on my boyfriend when we first started seeing each other and he said he would break up with me if I did that but my mind is so convinced i did ! I feel like I can’t remember if I did or not for a reason too and it eats at me everyday. The best thing for us to do is accept the thought and move on. It sounds soooo hard but ruminating makes it even worse. That’s why I think I am so far down this rabbit hole. You are not alone!