- Username
- Anonymous
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to me. I really needed this. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
Your welcome I totally get what it is like, ocd sucks! Take care
hi, I legit almost cried when I saw this because I’ve been struggling with the same thing for two days now! Agh! It’s a horrible feeling! I love my boyfriend till death and I know I wouldn’t ever hurt him but my brain tells me I did cheat on him and can’t remember!!
It’s so tough. We will get through this <3
@Anonymous So random but would you be ok if we spoke more about this? I’m trying to meet girls that are going through similar situations as me so we can help each other out! I have an Instagram but idk if I should put my username on here lol 🤪
We all make mistakes or do things maybe we wouldn't do now. OCD is torturing you and making it seem like you cant do anything wrong or you are the worst person. It does the same exact thing to me. If you guys worked it out and put it behind you, your ocd is compulsively picking it up again and saying let's analyze it and make sure it's ok to let go. But, you can let go now. Also just because this may have been a theme that's bothered you, it's still just thoughts. It's not the same as you having an actual affair and of course the ocd is going to look for evidence though in your behavior to prove either way if you've done anything wrong. Also I'm sure your husband has done things that have upset you too. All we can do is just do our best and work through issues the best we can! You can live in peace now and don't have to wait on OCD. Hope you feel better I know it's hard ❤
I feel this so hard. My mind randomly told me one day that I cheated on my boyfriend when we first started seeing each other and he said he would break up with me if I did that but my mind is so convinced i did ! I feel like I can’t remember if I did or not for a reason too and it eats at me everyday. The best thing for us to do is accept the thought and move on. It sounds soooo hard but ruminating makes it even worse. That’s why I think I am so far down this rabbit hole. You are not alone!
Thank you so much for responding. It’s so tough.
How do I get over real event/black out OCD? I got a memory of 1.5 years ago. I memory I hadn’t considered since my OCD began. I had recently gotten together with my boyfriend who I am still with. I went out drinking with some friends at their house by myself (stupid I know) I remember the night up until most of the end, when I was with my friend. We were alone briefly, outside. Then I blacked out and woke up in my bed and in my house and didn’t remember how I got home, but I knew my friend had something to do with it. I remember talking to my friend in the morning and he just thanked me for coming over and I thanked him for helping me get home and that was that. I felt guilty for blacking out but never considered that I did anything wrong in that period of time. But I have cheating OCD, so I was worried during the black out period if I did something with my friend to cheat on my bf? I got so paranoid and I didn’t have any memory of any kind of inappropriate behavior other than drinking. Especially because when I get really drunk I fall asleep and fully “black out” . Otherwise I have some flashes of memory here and there. I was also trying to replay the memory (I know it’s a compulsion) and I was starting to distort the memory so I called him. He had assured me I was just passing out from drinking too heavily and he ordered me an Uber home and that I probably fell asleep in the Uber which is why i fully blacked out on the ride home. And that the only time he and I were alone was when he was waiting for my Uber to get me. His story goes along with everything I remember too. Combine that with that I’ve never cheated, I am not attracted to my friend, and I always remember some sort of sexual contact I have with others even when drinking. There are flashes of memory here and there. And that there was no physical evidence left behind of anything. My body was fine the. Next memory, no stains no bruises. Nothing. None of that was present. I know that reaching out was a compulsion, but I had to because it was a real life event that had the potential to be immoral and I feel a duty to pay for any wrong doing I could have committed. I know uncertainty exists, and I will never get 100% certainty on anything. This is the closest I will get to evidence of me not being a cheater. But how can I move on from this? I don’t want to confess to anything I believe I haven’t done. It’s not in my memory, witness testimony, or in my character. I’m just not a cheater. I know that is a compulsion and i will not rope my bf into my obsessions. But that urge is strong. So the question is, how do I move on from this? I want to be able to say “I’m not a cheater, I’ve never cheated” without feeling like a fraud. I feel like a garbage person for not having the confidence in myself and for having to reach out and use the memory of my friend to help me out.
every time my OCD finds something new to obsess about I feel like it’s the worst one yet. I used to think feeling like i don’t love my partner is the worst but turns out feeling like i cheated on him is so much worse. especially because it’s not cheating OCD but real event OCD. I somewhat entertained things with a friend a couple years ago (assumed he was probably into me and didn’t stop it/ liked the attention??) and even drunkenly fell asleep on his leg once. and i have talked about it with my bf but not the detail about sleeping on his leg (i’ve told him other arguably worse things (no kissing or anything like that)) and we’ve gotten past it. this was someone who i definitely never had feelings for and never wanted anything more out of than attention. but now i feel overcome by guilt and anxiety and i replay the scenarios over and over in my head. i feel the constant need to confess every last detail i remember but i read that confessing can be a compulsion? ugh anyone else dealing with real event OCD have any advice? I can’t see my amazing NOCD therapist anymore due to insurance issues :/
Hi everyone - having a pretty bad episode currently and can’t eat/sleep. On Thursday, I went out with my boyfriends friends and got a little too drunk. I remember getting to the bar and I made it home safely, I just don’t remember the in between. (I know the consequences of alcohol and OCD - this was an accident and will be avoided!) On Friday morning, I woke up in intense distress that something happened with one of his friends at the bar - so much so false (or real??) flashes of a memory popped in my mind. I can’t tell if it’s OCD again or real this time. Cheating ocd is a common theme for me but still feels really scary and real. I’ve avoided asking the guy bc that could come off bad/crazy or remind him it actually happened if it did?? But the guy liked my IG story and a post and it’s sent me spiraling. I feel (and my friends I’ve asked feel) if something actually happened I’d be confident that I did something bad and have heard something by now but what if the information is being hidden? I’ve been running all around on Reddit, forums google etc. for answers if it’s OCD. am I just faking the OCD fear to absolve myself of doing something bad? Is it real this time? It feels really bad and scary but I haven’t heard anything? It’s getting a bit better but is my mind just hiding it from me? Any tips? Please help. Would I know for sure if this happened? Would someone tell me? Help.
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