I had been doing better and I am but I was still doing compulsions and avoiding one of my friend because of my hocd, and now it's back to level 0 again. Today I blocked her on one my instgram accounts because I wanted some kind of relief I didn't want the thoughts that I get before posting something or viewing stories, after I blocked her the relief wasn't for long (I had blocked a few months before also from all my social media accounts but then she had called me and asked me and I had excused that my social media had gotten hacked) now we are not that good friends as we were before HOCD happened just because of my thoughts I have started to hate her even though it's not her fault. After I blocked her my mind went like what if you start feeling bad about it now, what if this thought gets stuck in your mind. And I honestly made my decision for blocking her knowing it is a compulsion, I felt anxiety pulling in my stomach for no reason, it wasn't guilt or may be it was, and my mind why this I blocked her because I wanted and then my mind went like what if you like her thats why and my anxiety increased, my anxiety started flare-up even more and I don't even know why was feeling anxious I had wanted to do it for days now but I ended in blocking her but yet here I feeling anxious all over.

Look when my HOCD started she one of my closest friends and we used to talk a lot and then my OCD started to go like what if u like her and back then I didn't any thing know about HOCD back then, then u started to avoid her. After I got to know about my HOCD I realised that many other people had anxiety about their close friends but by then the damage was done we weren't that close as we were before and I decided that no matter what happens if my OCD plays this trick on some of my other friends I won't give in and I won't avoid instead I would do exposure therapy with them and I was okay and even did ERP with all my friends even till date I do when I have thoughts and i did it with one friend also and it was almost gone until I started hear my thoughts again and started to avoid her and do compulsions like that and plus she is now with my ex boyfriend which makes me want to avoid her and now my ocd thoughts are eating me. I am doing better

I am 16 and yes I am an Indian

@tulipsharma Ok when did your HOCD start? My daughters got triggered 4 months ago and it’s been super hard for me

@rachel1219 It got started 5months ago, in August

@tulipsharma I hope your coping ok- do you mind if I ask you how it started and if your parents know ? My daughters started from watching a video of two girls doing inappropriate things and thinking another girl is pretty - it has not been easy for us last 5 months

@rachel1219 Oh mine started when I was scrolling down TikTok it was 2 girl running in the corridor and then suddenly one of them made a very sensual sound and I firstly laughed it of but then the groin happened and then my thoughts came in. My parents don't know because I don't want to stress them, my mum tries to ask me as she sometimes has caught me crying on my own but my elder sisterr, she knows, she is 23 years old. She lives in Australia we talk about it as much as I can and well here I have been on self medication in India cuz firstly I don't want bother my parents they have a lot on there plate all ready and secondly I have been searching for good ocd therapist in my state but I haven't found one.

@tulipsharma Let me correct self-therapy as much as I can do

@tulipsharma Do you feel like you have sexual intrusive thoughts about a lot of women? And you look at women now and think sexual thoughrs

@rachel1219 How did you know it was HOCD

@rachel1219 Yeas they happen to me but they have definitely reduced after I applied ERP to them

@rachel1219 I didn't know for almost 2months and I regret not searching google at first time, but I knew it was anxiety because I would really freak out but I couldn't put a hand on it so after 2months of constantly figuring out I searched google and this came up I was in real relief for first but then I was like what if it's not ocd I took online tests and they diagnosed me under the category of HOCD

I am really sorry to hear that, I hope she recovers from this monster of a mental illness