HopeForAnxietyRelief
- Date posted
- 4y
HopeForAnxietyReliefHopeForAnxie...
- Date posted
- 4y
I wasn’t diagnosed either but the more I researched the more my thoughts and fears fit into this category. It comes out of nowhere!
Faye JuneFaye June
- Date posted
- 4y
Hey! I completely understand what you feel, and know that I empathise with you deeply. I’m here to remind you however, that this is a compulsion. The sexuality quiz was your original compulsion, and then the uncertainty and fear that this caused has led you to seek reassurance - which is completely normal and understandable for someone in the throws of sexual orientation OCD, so please don’t feel guilty or as though you’re ‘bad’ for doing this. Compulsions feel so necessary, but they really do keep you stuck! If you’re not 100% sure of what a compulsion is, it is basically anything that you do that brings instant ease, or has the potential of bringing you instant ease. Giving these up feels so counter-intuitive, you may think ‘well I’m confused and I’m just looking for support’ - this isn’t support! When you feel that urge to react and try and find ease from your obsessions, STOP. Sit in the uncertainty and the fear until it eases. This may take a while and feel literally torturous, but it is gonna benefit you in the long term. I recommend seeing an ERP therapist if you can. If that is not an option, trying the ERP option on this app can be the next best thing. You’re not gonna live with this for long if you make good decisions for yourself, which are gonna feel hard, but you’re stronger than you realise! (ERP will make you feel much worse before it makes you feel better! - but the outcomes are so much better than living with OCD) OCD lies and distorts reality, this is a common symptom of this theme. You’re not alone.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
I acted out a scene as a character in this show, and I then found out later the characters gay and I didn’t know it. And now I’m trying not to freak out and I keep getting this feeling in my chest while the fact he’s gay keeps playing in my mind. I wanna freak out so badly. It feels like real attraction and it scares me badly. I don’t want to be gay or bisexual in denial in my life. It was like this rising feeling in my chest and stuff, and it was this sweet feeling. Like it was trying to make me feel like it was good, when it wasn’t. Triggered myself again. FUCK.
Faye JuneFaye June
- Date posted
- 4y
@notoOCD I understand how you feel, I really do. The fear you must be feeling is off the scale. You’re not doomed to the way you feel, I know you’re probably desperate for reassurance, but it’s not what you need. It’s really, really not. This is scary stuff. What I would advise is that when you feel like this, or something has happened like this, you need to resist the urge to write it down on a public forum and post it. Try and just leave the thought in your head and sit with the uncertainty. It will feel unbearable at first, but once you get the hang of that, you’re already on the track to recovery. Accepting the thoughts is not the same as agreeing!
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
@Ellie I just can’t get over the rising “good” feeling. Like it was this sensation in my chest or some shit. I’ve been accepting the thoughts and feelings for a couple of days now but this takes the cake. I don’t want to be gay or bisexual at all. I don’t want to be with a man ever. I just want a woman in my life. I always gag and vomit to homosexual thoughts. I’m just so freaked out because of that “good” feeling. I don’t know what the hells going on, but I don’t want to be gay or bisexual at all.
Faye JuneFaye June
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous I don’t want to give in to your reassurance compulsion, but I feel like you need to hear this. OCD will distort reality in a manner that acts to prove itself, for example - someone has health OCD - they have a fear that they could have a brain tumour - they’re ruminating so often that they start to feel a pain in their head and light headedness. They panic... ‘are my hands numb?’ Etc, etc. Health OCD mirrors sexual orientation OCD in many, many ways. This knowledge isn’t gonna help you, and you’re still going to be crippled by the obsessions and the feelings. Look into ERP, I promise you it is worth it!
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
It feels so real and it scares me so much. I acted out a scene as a character in this show, and I then found out later the characters gay and I didn’t know it. And now I’m trying not to freak out and I keep getting this feeling in my chest while the fact he’s gay keeps playing in my mind. I wanna freak out so badly. It feels like real attraction and it scares me badly. I don’t want to be gay or bisexual in denial.
HopeForAnxietyReliefHopeForAnxie...
- Date posted
- 4y
I think you just have to separate the character from yourself. So you’re “acting” that doesn’t define you. The attraction feels so real but it’s not it’s just your mind playing tricks on you because that’s what you fear. Keep being strong!
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
@HopeForAnxietyRelief Our HOCD will do everything it can to screw us over. Don’t let the thoughts and the feelings get to you. We’ll both make it.
HopeForAnxietyReliefHopeForAnxie...
- Date posted
- 4y
@notoOCD Thanks for the encouragement! We will make it we just have to fight this. My thoughts all came from HOCD and that’s what we have to keep telling ourselves.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
@HopeForAnxietyRelief I hope I have HOCD. I’m not even diagnosed. So that scares me even more.
HopeForAnxietyReliefHopeForAnxie...
- Date posted
- 4y
@notoOCD See comment below
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