Drvmstick
- Date posted
- 4y
OCDismyMiddleNameOCDismyMiddl...
- Date posted
- 4y
Hey there! :) Very similar story I went through. The reason it bothers you so much is because you're focusing on it obsessively. Once you learn to let things go, you'll see that those traits weren't a huge factor at all, in maybe you'll end up even liking them all over again. Let me open up here a bit so you don't feel so alone. My ROCD spiked when my mother (who has BPD), made a nasty comment about my fiance's feet (he has a neurological disorder but it's very minimal for him, it just makes his balance off a little bit). But after she made that remark, I remember feeling devastated. And I even started believing her words. I felt like an awful human! And guess what? I went to reddit and explained my situation (reassurance seeking). Guess what happened there? TERRIBLE triggers of people telling me I shouldn't be with him because I'm a shallow, ableist person. This wasn't true at all and these people WERE NOT understanding of ROCD and the nature of OCD in general. Now days, fast forward lots of hard work and trial and error, I now know how much I love my fiance. And I've even grown to appreciate all of him, even the not so "perfect" parts of him. I am also much more educated on his disorder, just like he is about mine and OCD. We have a beautiful relationship, and even though my latest subtype is SOOCD (which is very common with ROCD types), I know how to maneuver this disorder and live a happy life with him. We're getting married in May! So, hey, don't ever be hard on yourself. You are a beautiful person, and that's one of the reasons why your OCD attacks you. It will all come in time. This too shall pass, friend. :)
DrvmstickDrvmstick
- Date posted
- 4y
I appreciate the advice so much, that was great. I do really love her, and that’s why it affects me so much when I get fixated on her flaws. But I purposefully focus on her flaws sometimes as a way to provoke my anxiety as a form of erp, but I’m not sure if I should be doing that or if it’s better to not focus and instead just notice her flaws and let it be
ocdgal ocdgal
- Date posted
- 4y
Wow! This makes so much sense as to why every time my mom or someone close to me would comment on my boyfriend at time flaws it would bother me so much that it would make me even wanna break up with them.
OCDismyMiddleNameOCDismyMiddl...
- Date posted
- 4y
@Drvmstick I've noticed that subtypes such as ROCD or SOOCD, there is much more ambiguity and grey areas. Sometimes, exposures aren't even effective (from what I have experienced and what others have told me). I think a lot of it is acceptance and personal growth, as well as breaking your rumination habits. In my perspective, rumination is worse than the anxiety, because the thoughts can feel so real and discouraging. I'd suggest to keep doing ERP, but to also change your cognitive behavior through self love and compassion. There's an AWESOME website dedicated to those of us with ROCD: https://www.awakenintolove.com/blog Please check it out, I think you will find a lot of peace through it. :)
OCDismyMiddleNameOCDismyMiddl...
- Date posted
- 4y
@ocdgal Yes, this seems to be a really popular trigger for those of us with ROCD. I hope you can find some peace in knowing that you aren't alone :)
ocdgal ocdgal
- Date posted
- 4y
Yes! That happened to me with my boyfriend, I was focused of his voice and it was haunting me and making me feel like a true big jerk and underserving of him, 🥺
DrvmstickDrvmstick
- Date posted
- 4y
ROCD always attacks what we love the most :/
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