It’s really hard for me and my OCD to accept that I can feel envious or want to be the centre of attention without having NPD. These things can just be normal and I even read that they are. For me, I don’t even want to be the centre of attention, I just like it when everyone is kinda sharing the attention? Like not one person is the centre of it. But I do sometimes get jealous of whoever is the centre of attention. I know NPD requires a lot more than all that. But I just can’t shake the fear that I could have it. I did a test earlier and it told me I’m less narcissistic than the average person and then I did it again a minute ago to check and it said I’m a little more than the average person which made me super anxious.

Thank you. I actually looked into codependency the other day and found it really quite relatable. Which reassured me. It’s similar to narcissism but also it’s like the complete opposite. I’m sorry you’re going through this too. It’s nice to not be alone in it though. I’m mostly just scared about the tests but like you said, they aren’t going to help. It’s just so hard to accept that if I fear being a narcissist, then I’m not one... because I still have little symptoms of it like envy and wanting to talk about myself and stuff. Which to me and my OCD seem like ‘proof’

And I just went onto the Reddit and someone said something I relate to 😥

@garden I know it's really hard to accept. But please know that every single person on this planet has a little bit of narcism. It's healthy. Every person wants attention and envy. People with NPD do it in such an extent that it would be called a disorder. I already know by the way you're describing yourself that this is behavior is far from yours. People with NPD manipulate other people to get attention and make others feel miserable. I dare to bet 1000 euro that this isn't you 😂 It is indeed comforting to know that there are other people going through this. A narcist wouldn't even be thinking about being a narcist because they have such a high sense of self importance that this would never cross there mind. Please take comfort in these words. And if it turned out you do have NPD (Which is highly unlikely and I dare to bet 1000 euro on that you're not😂) you can work on yourself! I know this last sentence could make your anxiety spike, but that's the exposure. Try to live with the uncertainty of maybe being a narcist, or maybe not being a narcist. Try to avoid to search the internet about this topic because it'll only make it worse (speaking from experience)

@Beenhereforawhile Thank you, I appreciate all that you’ve said. I’m gonna try to cut out googling!!

@garden No worries :)