- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
hey♥️. my debilitating onset of ocd started in august and it took away everything from me. i even attempted suicide in october because of how bad it was. and im gonna tell you right now, it is not easy and requires a shitload of patience. but if you want recovery you will get it. i started erp on my own which was very difficult and scary. then around december i started therapy with nocd. and every single day i practiced what i learned in therapy, and what people have advised me to do on this app to the best of my ability. there were definitely ups and downs in recovery: that’s naturally how it works. but today i can tell you that i feel so much better, and the thoughts have decreased to basically whisper level and i see myself leading a productive and happy future. am i completely there yet? no, but i know that ill get there and i know you can too if you want it, and dont give up
- Date posted
- 4y
thank you. i’m so happy for you
- Date posted
- 4y
I had severe depression and ocd from age 16-25, and was finally able to recover with meds, therapy and a ton of hard work. It’s the biggest accomplishment of my life to date. Now I’m 33, and my ocd is worse than it’s been in a long time. I had a miscarriage over Christmas and in many ways I feel like all the physical and mental wellness I had so carefully built up is shattered on the floor. But. I’m still doing way better than I was at age 20. The difference is, this time I know what recovery looks like. I know this won’t be forever. That’s what recovery does, it gives you the hope and the skills to know you can get up again, even if it’s hard. That’s life-changing. You can do it. Rooting for you.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
I feel this way sometimes too. I just started doing ERP therapy with a therapist here on NOCD. I think it’s really important to remember to take everything one step at a time. When I started I was in your position and some days I still feel that way, but I do have days where I feel better and I hope/feel like that trend can continue. It’s going to be hard but you’ve already handled so much on your own!
- Date posted
- 4y
you’ve got this!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I can't stop thinking about ending my life. I feel like I'm not even living, I'm just surviving. Everyone is capable of being a person and functioning and I'm just stuck here avoiding everything. My psychiatrist said my ocd is severe and it will all take time and I'll start erp and I'm already on medication but I just feel so depressed and like I won't be able to handle erp and it's already too late for me. I feel inhuman, it's debilitating. My major theme is just fear or contamination, I can't even make myself a meal I can't touch anything in the kitchen. I get stuck in the shower for 2 hours and when I don't shower because I'm depressed I feel like a walking germ. My hands are a mess, my school work is shit, I avoid and avoid and I'm just so tired of "living" like this. My psychiatrist said they don't have any therapists available right now like.... excuse me? What do you mean u don't have any 😭 I honestly don't even know why I'm typing this becuase nothing helps, nothing ever will. I'm so deep into this I can't get out, my room looks like shit, I can't live in this body anymore, I really can't. I let everyone down, I am and will be such a dissapointment. I don't have any dreams or goals or passions I just wasn't made to be here. I don't know how or who to ask for help like there's nothing anyone can do, I'm already on meds. I can't keep being like this, seeing everyone judge me for acting insane.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 23w
Looking back, I realize I’ve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldn’t explain: "What if God isn’t real? What happens when we die? How do I know I’m real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didn’t want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. She’d say, "Maybe you’ll kill yourself—who knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. I’m working again, I’m sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If you’re scared to try ERP, I get it. But if you’re already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 20w
Hi guys! I’m new to the community and I’ve recently received my OCD diagnosis (tho I’ve known about it since childhood). I’ve been somewhat spiraling lately as I wait for my first ERP session (hooray!) I was just wondering if any of you guys have received ERP for existential OCD and if it was successful? My existential OCD compulsions are more so mental and have been affecting me in the sense of dream/memory flashbacks and giving me a sort of “uncanny” feeling about everything around me. Any advice is appreciated! Thank you❤️
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