Please help So I recently started having sex with this guy and I am like really into it but I am not feeling super turned on physically and I am freaking out that this means I am not attracted to him and in denial. Is this normal?

Thank you for your help! I just went onto a forum which I know I should not have done and someone had a similar problem as me but then someone commented try it with a girl and now I am freaking out

@Anonymous Yeah I‘ve been on forums multiple times for the same reason and it never does me any good. I know how difficult it is to stop this behavior, honestly it feels impossible most of times. So don’t beat yourself up for that, as already said living with ocd is hard enough already!

@Heleni I am like also freaking out because I did not have a lot of crushes growing up even though I had a boyfriend I thought I really liked but I guess not having crushes and liking female celebrities makes you gay even though I thought I just wanted to be the celebrities. I also remember back to when I was young and I think I saw a video of girls making out and I think I might have replayed it and I guess this is a sign that you are a lesbian early on. There were also some women who I really wanted to like me and I would look forward to talking to them and I would try to impress them. I thought maybe because I would always seek my moms approval but now I am freaking out that I actually wanted to be with them because some lesbians came to realize they had crushes later. Sorry for the rant I just needed to get this off my chest. It’s just feels more and more every day that I am in denial even though I just want to be with men but I worry I won’t ever find a man I really want to be with

@Anonymous That‘s alright, sometimes we just need to get it out of our chest because living with these thoughts everyday becomes so overwhelming. As already said, ocd makes us view everything through the black and white lense it forces on us. It distorts your past and present and makes you second guess every move you make. I experience all of this too and recently it really gets the best of me, but I won’t give up. I will get through this and you will too! Are you in therapy atm?

@Heleni Yeah I am in therapy and they have diagnosed me with ocd but they don’t do erp. Sorry I probably shouldn’t be asking for reassurance but do I sound gay from what I have told you I am really panicking right now

@Anonymous Same I‘m also in therapy but they don‘t use erp. I don‘t want to give you reassurance as it will only help you temporarily, all I can say is that I know where you‘re coming from I know how urgent it feels and how desperately you want reassurance, but it doesn’t matter what I tell you, you will always come back doubting it. That’s the nature of ocd.

That’s alright thank you for your help!

The swimsuit thing was just an example btw

Yeah you are so right thank you for your help!