Anyone overcome suicide-OCD (or harm ocd with suicidal obsessions)? If so, how? Mine started after losing a friend to it in April 2020. Thoughts of “what if I do that?” stuck like glue and it’s been hard to overcome ever since.

Seems like ours came about around the same time. ☹️ it’s awful... I can’t even watch movies or tv without worrying I’ll see something on the topic and it’ll trigger a panic attack.

@sj01318 I’m the same way. Mine has gotten so bad and now I’m having intrusive thoughts about everything it seems like! My brain just feels like it’s in a constant state of fear. I start a medication tomorrow and see a psychologist next week. Really hoping the combination helps me because I don’t know what else to do

@Anonymous Yep I’m in the same boat. It’s like my thoughts are fearing the next coming thoughts, even if I’m not actively having a harmful thought, I’m living in fear that I will. Which then, of course, conjures them on. It’s a miserable cycle that I’m so ready to break out of but don’t know how.

@sj01318 I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this too. I actually tried ERP from a therapist on here for a few days but my mind was so chaotic I couldn’t even focus on doing it which led me to trying medication. My psychologist said that it can be a big help if it works. But of course everyone has different reactions to them so I’m hoping to find one that helps.

@Anonymous Medication will help take the edge off and allow you to work through the therapy with more success. I’m on a low dose of Effexor (37.5mg) and it has definitely decreased everything by like 50%. I haven’t done ERP therapy before so I know that’s what I need to really kick it down

@sj01318 I’m starting celexa tomorrow. And yes everyone says ERP is the best treatment for OCD which I’m hoping to get back into if my mind will slow down a bit!

@Anonymous Also I’ve been really scared to start medication since it has that warning about suicide on there. Did you ever have that fear ?

@Anonymous Oh, TERRIBLE fear. lol. Like absolutely crushing. I am 29 years old and absolutely SOBBED on the phone to my mom before I took my first pill because I knew I needed it (OCD got so bad it was causing severe depression and anxiety). But I was absolutely terrified of the black box warning. It was the bravest thing I’ve ever done honestly. Within the first few days I noticed positive mental improvements, despite physical onboarding side effects and some ruminations. They just didn’t bother me as much or send me into a dark spiral. If you want, please feel free to reach out to me during your first couple days on medicine. I’ve BEEN there. You’re not alone!!

@sj01318 Good to know!! I guess because I don’t understand what they mean on how it can cause that effect really scares me. And thank you so much!! I will probably be reaching out to you!

@Anonymous My psych told me that the black box is there because many kids under age 24 haven’t had their first bipolar episode yet and that’s why there’s a higher risk for those under that age who may have undiagnosed bipolar. But she said it’s incredibly rare and doesn’t apply to us ☺️

@sj01318 Thanks that eases my fears! I always mean to ask my doctor about it but I forget. I read that it’s also a risk for people who are depressed and feel suicidal already but sometimes their energy improves before their mood does so it gives them the energy to do it.. whereas before I guess they weren’t motivated enough to do it? But anyway thanks again for easing my fears!

@sj01318 Hey did you ever have dilated pupils when starting your med? I know everyone is different but just wondering if you ever had that side effect