How do you date with OCD ? I feel like I need to ramble a little, so bear with me. I’ve dated so many guys and not been into any of them. I used to think if I just gave them more of a chance or spent more time with them that the attraction would develop. But I never feel that intensely attracted I’m attracted to women’s bodies. But I’ve ever been with a girl. Due to that, I think I might be a lesbian. I know no one can tell me if Im a lesbian or not. But I want to work why the idea scares me I grew up in a religious family who sees being gay as wrong. My mom has hopes that I’ll have kids one day. Lowkey I also hope I end up wanting to have kids because I’d feel bad “ending my family line” And also idk why. I feel guilty if I don’t want them, but the idea of them overwhelms me Even if I was bisexual, I would REALLY hope I fall in love with a guy anyway just to avoid this. Anyway, with all this, I don’t know how to date. I could try talking to girls on Tinder to explore my sexuality, but I would feel scared lying to my parents. And I find it draining to constantly talk to people. I’m 23 and a virgin. I know life isn’t a race but why does that make me feel bad ? Like I’m not normal? It reminds me of how many intimacy issues I have Maybe I’m demisexual or something. Idk. Or maybe I should strictly ONLY talk to people on tinder im immediately attracted to. I know that sounds shallow but I feel like when I’ve “given people a chance”, someone always moves faster than I do Anyways, I just needed to talk TLDR; Should I try talking to girls even if I live in an anti LGBT household? What if I never get with someone nor have kids and disappoint my parents ? How do I deal with this shame ?

Relationship OCD

f_cruz

Date posted: 4y

i think you need to give time, time. talk to different people, man and women, you are young and you are just discovering your sexuality. about your parents, i think u should only talk to them when u are sure about what you want. about having kids, there are a lot of new methods that don’t end your family line!! hope you are ok

rootytooty

Date posted: 4y

I tend to feel like I should have had a relationship already in my 20s but that might be a product of my surroundings ? Like having a lot of friends in relationships all the time 😅 thank you btw! I appreciate the support and compassion

Luma27

Date posted: 4y

I was confused about my attraction towards women too, and I know it’s a scary feeling and not everyone’s family is supportive which makes it worse. I think you shouldn’t pressure yourself to decide or understand it right now, but maybe you should try to talk to girls just to see if you feel any more interested in them. If not, just give it time. And having kids should be your choice, not your parents. Even if you want kids and end up liking women you can always adopt or even use a donor!

rootytooty

Date posted: 4y

Thank you 💜 I guess in a way it’s focusing on what you can control. I can’t control if I’m attracted to women or when I figure it out but I can control exploring. Are you bi, homo or other ? I feel like if I turn out to be a lesbian, I might have to grieve for a while. It’ll be okay, and nothing is wrong with being gay. It’s just grieving the situation with my family

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