Spiraling now please help. I went on a late bloomer thread on Reddit and people were saying how they didn’t even consider a relationship with a woman until they fell in love or realized their feelings for friends because of compulsory heterosexuality. One of them even went through intense questioning before she realized that she was gay because of internalized homophobia and could not accept the truth. Now I am like what if I just cannot accept the truth. I have really wanted to be friends with some girls and really sought out their approval and thought about them a lot. Now I am worried that I actually liked them and was just suppressing romantic/sexual feelings for them because also some of my favorite tv characters growing up were women. I also just had sex with a guy and I thought I was really into it but I wasn’t turned on. I wasn’t super boy crazy growing up either but I had a boyfriend in middle school who I thought I really liked but now I just think that is a lie and I just liked him as a friend. Some people on there were telling the person to go out and experiment, but I don’t want to be with a women but is that just me in denial. I am sorry for the long post I feel horrible and hopeless any help would be great

Sexual Orientation OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

Also I have always wanted to marry and fall in love with a man etc. but I guess that is a comp het thing too and I have to let this fantasy go

chels225

Date posted: 4y

It sounds like you are ruminating, which is a compulsion. I know it’s hard to stop but try and go about your day and resist compulsions, try and accept the possibility that you could be. I had to agree with the thought with my therapy and feel all that fear and sadness. That doesn’t mean it’s true though, you probably would have found your answer by now. There will probably never be an answer. I’m sorry you are going through this, I know how it feels. Also don’t let the comp het thing tell you how to feel, I struggled with it too. You don’t need to figure it out, ocd is telling you to figure it out right now and do compulsions. Hope you feel better soon

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

Thank you for your help today was pretty rough for me I just want to fall in love with a man but now I am so depressed because I think I am unable to and given my recent sexual experience I think I can’t even be aroused by men even though fantasizing about them is the only thing that makes me happy

chels225

Date posted: 4y

@Anonymous I’m sorry your day was rough. I used to be so depressed because I thought the same thing, but exposure therapy consistently made it a lot better. Have you been able to do the erp on here?

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

@chels225 No I haven’t. My therapist just diagnosed me with ocd but she doesn’t do erp just cbt so I am not sure if I should switch therapists

chels225

Date posted: 4y

@Anonymous I wonder if she could do erp? I don’t know but from what I understand erp is the best method for ocd. I would recommend therapy on here mine helped a ton

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

@chels225 I will ask thank you for the advice I really appreciate it!!

chels225

Date posted: 4y

@Anonymous You’re welcome hope you get better soon

maybethistime

Date posted: 4y

I understand your fears. But, thinking and searching deep in your memories and feelings never solves things. I want you to feel better, and as hard as it is, you’re going to need to find a way to stop ruminating

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