Hey guys. Could someone describe whether and if so how sexual fantasies factor into OCD? Can a straight person have some same sex thoughts will masturbating, or Vice versa, without actually being that sexuality. I’ve read that the difference between OCD and genuine sexual orientation, I’ve read that is that the fantasies are enjoyable for someone who is gay/straight. Is it possible to have same sex fantasies taht you may enjoy to an extent, while also having OCD ?

Sexual Orientation OCD

pureolife

Date posted: 4y

I think that the task of constantly discerning which thoughts are “ocd” and which are are “real” is generally a fruitless endeavor and usually a compulsion. Human sexuality is complicated and contradictory. Most people react to sexual stimuli of all kinds physically. So trying to determine your sexuality based on any sort of objective test is usually not as straightforward as it might sound and also probably impossible. Sexuality is also a spectrum, with most people falling within the spectrum rather than sitting all the way at either end. Is it possible to have same sex fantasies and be straight? Of course. Is it possible to have them and be gay? Of course. I’d encourage you to try to lean into uncertainty here rather than trying to “figure this out.” Even if I had a super clear definition and answer, your ocd would inevitably have more questions and doubts. In order to get out of the ocd cycle, we have to stop playing the game.

ramosvitorio

Date posted: 4y

Everything feels so confusing. I try and accept the uncertainty but I feel like I can’t, I feel terrible. I’ve always been attracted to women, all my crushes have been girls and a majority of my fantasies are straight, but occasionally I’ll imagine a gay scenario, never actyallly including myslef, and I’ll to an extent enjoy it yet once I am done it feels so unappealing and so weird. I keep testing myslef imaging gay scenarios and looking at pornography to see whether I enjoy it, and while at times I get physically aroused, it does feel like mentally I’m actually enjoying it. It’s all so confusing, I feel like I’m betraying my girlfriend. While previously I had felt comfortable with describing myslef even as mostly straight/slightly bisexual, I don’t feel like that label fits me anymore. I keep testing myslef

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

@ramosvitorio Hey man I can relate here... I have a girlfriend I absolutely love who I’ve always imagined getting married to and starting a life with her before all these HOCD thoughts. Now, with these thoughts ive started to question everything and I’m so unsure about all those things when in the past I loved the idea of always being with her and starting a family and now talking about those things and thinking about them cause me severe anxiety and idk why

pureolife

Date posted: 4y

@ramosvitorio The thing creating and accelerating your doubts is the checking. And I know it’s hard to stop. Resisting compulsions is very difficult, especially when you first get started. Rather than cutting it out completely all at once, focus on reducing. If you’re spending 4 hours a day checking, get to 3. And stay there for a week or two to adjust. Then reduce to 2. Then 1. Since you’re doing a variety of checks, you could also choose to resist one type completely. Then do another. Then another. Until you’ve eliminated them all. At one point in your life you were okay with a pretty uncertain label for yourself (straight/slightly bisexual) and that wasn’t a problem. Ocd made it a problem. Resist the compulsions, lean into the uncertainty. It does get better. I’d also highly recommend working with an ocd specialist. Doing erp probably can help you do all of this.

💙💙

Date posted: 4y

absolutely you can

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond