- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I had a therapist years ago who thought I was transgender and tried to get me to accept it. I really thought it out. I like being a boy. I like feminine things sometimes but ultimately I like being a boy. I just had to think it through on my own
- Date posted
- 4y
Thanks for the reply. I feel this way too. If I truly ask myself if I want to be a man, my immediate response is always no. But then there's that little voice that opposes that response and it all goes downhill from there.
- Date posted
- 4y
@jasminex123 Exactly! That's why it's so frustrating! I honestly think these thoughts were triggered by a series of random transgender themed events in my life that happened all around the same time. It feels like my brain just became hyper fixated on this stuff and now it can't stop.
- Date posted
- 4y
@jasminex123 24 turning 25 soon. Never had anything like this happen to me until this last year. Maybe it's all the stress from Covid that has turned my mind into a bit of a hellscape lol.
- Date posted
- 4y
@jasminex123 Sorry meant to reply to your post exactly but I just replied to the whole thread. Oops!
- Date posted
- 4y
Mmmm not exactly. I've only ever had crushes on boys but in college I kinda knew that I was attracted to women too. But at that time was dating a man so didnt think much of it. I've kinda just been open with myself and now people close to me that I can see myself with a man or woman. Tbh I'm still trying to figure it all out.
- Date posted
- 4y
did you ever obsess about your bisexuality? like in an OCD
- Date posted
- 4y
@doloresguppies Yes I did for a little bit but I think because I kinda knew for awhile that I was, I didn't fear it like I fear the transgender themes that I now fixate on. I've never questioned my gender before but I've known for a while that I'm not totally straight if that makes sense?
- Date posted
- 4y
@kimhope wait, so you had like sexual orientation ocd but then actually turned out bisexual????
- Date posted
- 4y
@kimhope sorry, that’s just super triggering
- Date posted
- 4y
@doloresguppies Yes I understand that can be triggering but please understand that that's just my personal experience. OCD and its themes are unique to everyone. If you fear being something that is the OCD talking not your inner conscience. If you fear that you might be gay, bi, straight whatever, that is your OCD looking for a theme to obsess on. It's hard to realize that when your mind is telling you different but it's important to remember that a thought is just a thought and OCD will make those thoughts into an inner conflict for no reason.
- Date posted
- 4y
@kimhope thank you for your kind response ❤️ i really appreciate it. but kind of like you said, it sort of feels like i “know” that i’m just bisexual in denial.
- Date posted
- 4y
@doloresguppies I highly recommend the "Maybe I am, maybe I'm not" mantra. Its helped me with my OCD. Although I still struggle with the intrusive thoughts about gender identity, just taking a breath and sitting with the uncertainty of "maybe, maybe not" has helped me. OCD hates uncertainty, so that's what you have to give it.
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m the same except my fear is that I’m gay or bisexual which is this awful paradox because I’m not homophobic at all but I think about me being gay and doing things I never even considered before, all day every day and it’s just torture
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
i had recently been triggered to have so-ocd. its been on my mind non-stop. (i am a heterosexual female) and my mind has been all over the place questioning if i have been in denial the entire time. ive always had people tell me they sort of got that vibe it it never really affected me until my own mother had her suspicions. so i would constantly get triggered un public around the same gender, while knowing my true sexuality. ive always been attracted to men but as of recently ive been having super bad anxiety to where i cannot eat or sleep and feel weak all the time. it was like that for a week or so. now im in the calm where i have been trying accept the uncertainty but it still isnt fair as im getting triggered. im a little worried because it feels like i have been lying to my parents the entire time although ive never had the desire to be with the same gender. and i keep getting intrusive thoguhts that make me feel anxious and uncomfortable. its all starting to affect my friendships as im constantly getting triggered with the intrusive thoguhts. i feel a little less anxious compared to how i was a couple days ago. im really scared on why im having these thoughts now when i have been having romantic feelings for a guy the past year or so. ive also been struggling with false attraction and loss attraction to men. it makes me feel uncertain of my life the entire time
- Date posted
- 17w
I wouldn’t really say I have SO-OCD, but it manifests in some areas of my TOCD. Like if I see a woman for example my thoughts will go “what if I like her but as a man?” like my thoughts say I’m a straight man instead of a straight woman. And it’s really bothering me. If I see an attractive woman my brain will re-wire and imagine myself as a man looking at an attraction woman and it gets super uncomfortable that I have to like shake my head and say “no no no no no” multiple times to get the thought out. I know that counts as a compulsion but it’s hard to not do it because it’s so triggering. Now I don’t mind if I like women, however I’m really scared that I’m actually a straight man who likes women (or at least a bisexual man, considering I like men) and I hate it because I don’t want to be a man. Like I’ll think of my desired relationship as a woman dating a man but my OCD will switch it up to me being the man dating the woman, which is the opposite of what I want. I don’t want to be a man at all and I don’t want to date a woman, both of those are the opposite of my desires, but I’m still so scared. I’ll accept myself if I actually like women and am a bisexual woman, however I heard that being bisexual can mean being trans which scares me (for the record it was said in reddit by a sub which is mainly focused on a pseudoscientific phenomenon, that is still believed by the members to be true, so it’s definitely not a trustworthy statement, but my OCD will use anything to work against me) Does anyone here relate a little? 🥲
- OCD newbies
- Transgender OCD
- False Memory OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Real Events OCD
- Students with OCD
- Date posted
- 14w
Hey everyone, I’m reaching out because I’ve been going through one of the hardest mental spirals of my life, and I’m hoping someone can relate or shed light on what’s happening to me. About 4 months ago, I accidentally came across a trans porn scene. It didn’t do much at the time, but later it triggered this overwhelming intrusive thought: “What if I’m gay?” Since then, it’s been absolute hell. I’ve always been into women—emotionally, sexually, everything. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with a girl I love deeply. But after that moment, my brain started spiraling into nonstop analysis. I began checking how I felt around men, whether I felt attraction, whether I was in denial, whether I was lying to myself. Literally everything became a test. I got stuck in this loop: • A thought pops in → panic • Try to solve it → brief relief • Another thought → worse panic • Repeat. At times, it got so bad I couldn’t feel anything at all—toward my girlfriend, toward women, toward myself. I started doubting everything. Some days, I feel emotionally flat, like I’ve lost my personality. Other days, I wake up with a full-body jolt of “truth” like “I’m definitely gay”—only for it to fade into numbness again. I’ve also noticed that I get short bursts of peace when I stop reacting, but then the fear comes back louder, like “See? Now you’re accepting it. That means it’s true.” Therapy hasn’t helped much so far—it felt more like general counseling. They told me to sit with the thoughts, but didn’t clarify if this was OCD, identity questioning, or trauma. That just made it worse because now I’m back to thinking “What if I’m just rejecting my truth?” I’m exhausted. I’ve lost connection to everything I used to love. • I want to love my girl again the way I used to • I want to feel desire without overthinking • I want to trust myself again I’m not looking for reassurance—I just want to know if anyone else has gone through something like this, and if this sounds like HOCD or identity OCD. Thanks for reading.
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