Can someone please help me? I’m panicking massively So, I have a really specific obsession which doesn’t make sense (like a lot of themes). I have an intense fear that I’m somehow ‘autistic’ and am not aware of it. It started when I watched a video of a girl who didn’t seem any different to a regular person state that she had autism. I was really confused, how is she different to me then? I have done COUNTLESS online tests, all of which have told me I have few to no autistic traits, yet I CANNOT shake it. If I see something that may indicate that I’m autistic, I start panicking where my throat gets dry and I’m terrified. For example, I started panicking just now because I had read that autistic women live in ‘fantasy’ world, and I thought ‘do I?’ And then I realised that at night when I’m listening to music I’ll imagine myself in different scenarios. This of course isn’t ‘fantasy’ world, but still I was terrified, well what if it is? What if this means you have autism. One of the key features of autism is social impairment, which I have never experienced - but OCD starts saying, what if you have, what if you’re lying to yourself. Essentially all of this stems from a fear that I’m ‘lying’ to myself about my traits, when it’s irrational to think that. It literally terrifies me like my hands are sweating and I feel like I’m gonna die I don’t know what to do

Thank you so much for responding! The fact that I beat the SO theme of OCD fuelled my obsession with this theme, as I started to think ‘well, you’re over OCD so this must be true’, god. I’d forgotten how horrific it gets with the panic. This theme just makes me feel so alone because it’s so random. But again, yeah. I’ve been thinking about ERP and never pushing myself to do it with this theme, when I should. The same fears arise, well what if you realise you ARE autistic, you know the drill, lmao. Again, thank you. I feel honoured that you even recognised me from that!

@Ellie Totally know what you mean. My current theme is SO OCD and I‘ve been struggling on and off with it over the last three years. However I had many other themes and whenever one got stuck I knew that the other ones were just ocd but the current one always feels so true and different. That is how ocd works. Once you beat a difficult theme it comes up with a different flavor. But if you take a step back it‘s all the same pattern. Maybe try to see it as the next level. You managed to beat SO OCD so you got the skills you need to use erp for that one too. And also I think this theme is not uncommon at all, after all ocd is capable of attacking anything so your not alone with this!

@Heleni Thank you so much, everything you’re saying is so, so true! I suffered with health OCD for months and months and MONTHS, I was practically crippled by it, then SO OCD came in, and that vanished. Literally. With each theme, you think ‘god it can’t get worse than this’, and (untreated) it can. Thank you for responding to this, it’s genuinely helped me just being able to speak to someone about it because I find it difficult talking to people about my OCD (friends etc) and I choose just to keep it to myself. I wish you well with the SO OCD theme, it’s rough, but there’s a way out, I promise you!!

@Ellie I‘m glad this could help you. Ocd is terrible but we can do this! Wish you all the best!