Hi all! New to this platform and hoping I can get some insight on my OCD patterns. I feel extremely hopeless at this point, like my brain is leading me into a direction I don’t want to go but I have no control over it. But I’m also not sure if it’s real thoughts or OCD rearing it’s ugly head. My boyfriend and I have been together 3.5 years and it hasn’t been the easiest ride with him, but not for any crazy reasons. No cheating, abuse, screaming at each other - Just differences in social life and some priorities. But ultimately we want the same things in life and we do love each other. Once the honeymoon period wore off after the first year, the doubts started piling in. I managed to push them aside somehow and didn’t believe them until the last few months. I’m not entirely sure what started it all, but it’s at the point now where my negative, intrusive thoughts are on an endless loop. We’ve discussed recently that things aren’t going well and I’m having small outbursts to minor things, so we started seeing a couples counselor. This offered me some minor relief as the counselor offered a plan to compromise some of our issues, but now I feel out of control. My head will not let me rest. It wants an immediate answer as to what the state of my relationship is in. I’ll google everything under the sun for answers on how I’m feeling, to no avail. I don’t want him out of my life but that little voice is screaming at me to “run”. But I don’t believe it, nor want to. I’m not sure if it’s COVID and the fact that we’re both stressed or haven’t been able to get away and spend real quality time with each other. Im not sure if it’s the fact that we own a home together and it’s making me feel trapped. I’m not even sure if my thoughts are real. One moment I’ll be looking at him and thinking how I want to fight for him and our relationship, then the next thing he’ll say something I deem insensitive or not up to my standards and I’m right back to “run, he’s not for you.” And these thoughts are now taking over my day to day and making me feel insane. They’re compulsive, incredibly intrusive, negative-focused thoughts that are followed by an urge to research and fix. But I’m not finding any fixes. I do believe there are real practical issues in our relationship and it could be triggering my flight response. I want to get a handle on these thoughts, or at least try to, before giving into the obsession and cutting ties with someone I really care about. I guess what I’m asking is, does this sound like ROCD? Thank you in advance ❤️