[Deleted]
- Date posted
- 4y
Garrett MaguireGarrett Maguire
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
In your early teens, you're still a child, your mind is still only developing, you should'nt blame yourself as an adult for mistakes you made back then.
Morpheus 75Morpheus 75
- Date posted
- 4y
abcd33 you kind doe!!! ❤️ Whatever you did you do t have to judge yourself about it!! You really think you can't be loved because of what your did?! You are a smart and good person because you struggle with yourself to be better that does mean you put yourself in question searching for being better each day that's good! Fuck what did you do you can't explain what you did here maybe, but know that we all experienced dirty things whenever we were younger or after. That's part of life trust me your state of mind is far more better than you think it is!
Garrett MaguireGarrett Maguire
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
You most likely need to target this with erp. Ocd makes us catastrophise things and anxiety exaggerates them. I truly believe this is how to find peace with erp and that lets you see things in a much more balanced and realistic way.
Morpheus 75Morpheus 75
- Date posted
- 4y
To me you're someone who wanted to experience things to find yourself you shouldn't be so harsh with yourself honestly you seem to be an interesting person because you search for spirit freedom doing what you did you are certainly someone who wants to do whatever you have in mind I think it's really nice. Don't be so rude about yourself don't let your mind makes you feel like you're distgutsing that's fucking wrong whatever you di a lot of men would love your "I do what I wanna do" side.
CooculieCooculie
- Date posted
- 4y
@abcd33 You're so valid and definitely are entitled to your feelings! I had a very similar experience and would not repeat my past if given the opportunity to. But, the experience helped me to firmly define my boundaries, and luckily there were no drastic consequences (STDs, children, etc.) that came from it. Sexual experiences and trauma definitely need to be validated more often, and they're more widespread than most people realize, in a varying amount of intensity. In my experience, I feel that I was coerced into doing things i didn't fully consent to, and I feel like I was emotionally abused. I am sending so much love and support to you!!
Morpheus 75Morpheus 75
- Date posted
- 4y
Even if it's about really dirty things lol
CooculieCooculie
- Date posted
- 4y
I relate to this so much! I'm currently in therapy for this because it's so hard for me to come to terms with my past actions. I feel a lot of guilt that I think comes from my views on family and religion/God. I was raised Catholic and all premarital sex is a no-no in their eyes. That being said, if you didn't intentionally harm anyone, you're not a bad person. Period. You experimented, like you said, and it didn't work out. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, and there's nothing wrong with your boundaries changing. There's also nothing wrong with realizing that you wouldn't repeat those actions. It was a life experience, and a lesson. Because you were so young, you were likely, at least a little bit, in over your head. Which isn't your fault. I'm sending you lots of love! I really empathize with your story and hope you feel better soon.
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- Date posted
- 25w
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dee012
- Date posted
- 19w
taboo theme ocd and childhood trauma
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GuiltyGrapes
- Date posted
- 7w
I feel so sick
Recently I (16m)feel hopeless I feel so sick and sad idk what to do I feel lost I feel like a monster everything has been hell, and I don’t know how to move on from the never ending guilt . I did awful things when I started high school, thinking being sexual was the way to connect.(idk if all of this was because when I was 8 I was shown explicit content by my older brother) I crossed boundaries, overshared, and kept flirting with friends and making sexual jokes, even after they said no (all over text). One friend stopped talking to me and can’t even look at me now. I feel like a monster. Why shouldn’t I be locked up? If I got therapy, I feel like I’d be sent jail. Idk if I can move on. Then there were these 2 guys who were older than me one was 16 one was 17. The 16 yr old was introduced to me by my online friend who is my best friend and I begged the 16 yr old for pics (idk how it started but after my friends ex randomly messaged me and sent me pictures and then blocked me right after I think I became addicted to chasing that high) the 16 yr old eventually sent me a pic but it was real and I stopped bugging him on it after that but i feel so bad I did that but my friend tells me not to feel bad cause the guy was weird but I still feel bad. Then the 17 yr old I did the same thing with him but went too far when I tried getting pics from him by using my best friends ass pics she sent me (she was 15) I don’t think I grasped how wrong this was but that’s not an excuse she eventually found it when I told her after she tried getting pics from the guy herself to try and help me and the guy got mad when she stopped talking to him cause we found it weird talking to him. I told her about how I sent the pics she said she felt sick but forgave me cause she thought I was gonna harm myself. Fast forward the guy told me after I had still been flirting with him that I s@d him (we never met in person ever) and I felt so guilty and apologized a lot and he got annoyed and told me that he had been kinda manipulative to me and kept me in a loop of mystery and I don’t talk to him anymore. But one of my other friends stopped talking to me after I was being by too emotionally taxing on him because I became very depressed and didn’t wanna life anymore and tried to stop lifing a few times. And now idk if I actually s@d someone if I did that to someone and now I think I’m a pdo and I think I s@d my baby cousins and my little brother and now I’m scared bf I can’t even get help because my parents don’t believe in therapy and even if I wanted to I’m scared because I don’t want to go to jail but I think I deserve it honestly why should a monster like me live.i wish I could move on like my older brother and maybe he shouldn’t idk who seems to not feel guilty maybe this is what I deserve idk I feel like I can’t go on I’m in my junior year and I saw one of the people and immediately just got crushed with the guilt and spiraled of how actually shameful I am if I tell any of my friends they’ll just leave or worse
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