My partner says I’ve been buying too stuff for him... I can’t help it I love buying him stuff. I feel so off... is it possible to convince yourself with ROCD by obsessing about the same thing over and over and over again for 8 freaking months!!... 😞😞

I am trying so hard to be... he just feels like a stranger... I hate this.. Yesterday I was able to give him a long hug and I felt so happy 😢

@Mandy7710 Mandy I don’t know you but I can you are a strong women that can do it I suffer from ocd about every type you can think of I am still fighting I know you can do it tell him you love him let him know how you feel talking is the best thing you can do I believe in you everyone does

@Mandy7710 It's okay to feel very disconnected when you have ROCD! Honey that's totally fine! Look up Awaken into Love on YouTube please, there is a video on that!

@Daria Alexandrovna I’ve dealt with ROCD before why is it so bad this time... I just wanna know if you can convince yourself... I use to be so content... I constantly say to myself I am lying then I scream saying I am not over and over and over again....

@Mandy7710 It's gets worse before it gets better. I get in what state you are, I've been also feeling bad. Don't scream, it doesn't work. Drink water, go out as often as you can, always try to do something good to yourself, be compassionate - you deserve it

@Daria Alexandrovna Thank you so much 😭

@Mandy7710 Please don't be so harsh on yourself. OCD is hard, we all just want to be happy. And we'll get there - slowly, taking small steps.. virtually hugging you

@Daria Alexandrovna I just get worried bc the Pandemic made things difficult for my ROCD... I’ve been suffering for 8 years... but got triggered by my partner telling me something. I had a HUGE mental breakdown... since then things have been difficult....

@Mandy7710 Yes, triggers do bring up a lot. But remember, you've been happy. Trust yourself, you can figure it out. Just make sure you have something to fight for, like, your partner is a good person, and make sure there is no abuse

@Daria Alexandrovna He’s not abuse at all. I am just so afraid of this being me... I just never felt like this...

@Mandy7710 I understand that's hard bc we need to rely on and we want to rely on our feelings. But the fact that we are obsessing and compulsing means that we have an unhealthy image of things, so we react to them not as we would usually react

@Mandy7710 so dif feelings are ok even unsettling ones.. I'm sure you'll find somebody here who related to your problem

@Daria Alexandrovna I’ve been like this for 8 months now of crying depression and anxiety. It was 8 months since that talk and I am still like this I would’ve been better by now...

@Mandy7710 No, every person's progress is different. Maybe you don't have enough resources to make yourself feel better. You def need a change in your lifestyle or environment, it's simple things that help. Even doing sports, meditating etc! Do you go to therapy or take meds?

@Daria Alexandrovna No and no... I do nothing like that...

@Mandy7710 Maybe this lasting for so long is a sign? Please be kind and caring with yourself, you can't get better unless you do everything good for your body and your soul

@Daria Alexandrovna I am scared of feeling better.....

@Mandy7710 Maybe that's why is has been going for so long? Discomfort can become sort of a 'safe place'. But it will get worse unless you want to heal and feel happy

@Daria Alexandrovna I know... I am just so afraid once I feel better it’ll be truly me... so many people triggered me and I freaked out and brokedown... everyday it’s like someone smashed their hand through my chest squeezing my heart until it pops... I’ve been with him for 10 1/2 years... I felt so content and comfortable.. I am in a super loveable relationship. I know breaking up wouldn’t last long bc I know deep down I am in love with him but it just sucks bc I can’t even say that without feeling like I am lying... before yeah I obsessed but I was still happier then than I am now...

@Mandy7710 Oh dear, you've come such a looong way with this person! And you know the truth. This feeling, as if you're lying - I get it! It's normal. Pleeeassee I recommend you watch Awaken Into Love on YouTube, preferably every video.. it will help, you'll feel better I'm sure!

@Daria Alexandrovna Thank you so much for taking to me... I know I am difficult... I’ve been so deeply depressed for so long that I can’t remember what’s Norma anymore..

@Mandy7710 You aren't 'difficult' , you're a person who's facing difficulties. And it's solvable! I am giving you love and please do the same to yourself