So my mom finally listen to me about the whole having-OCD-thing. I tried insinuating I have it by telling her my symptoms in the simplest way possible until she realized it was probably OCD. I lied to her about the kind of thoughts I had because I was so ashamed of them and was on the verge of crying. Then she told me I shouldn't try getting medication for this because she said she didn't "want this to go on my record" and she doesn't want me to go back to the mental hospital even though it could probably really help me, and I enjoyed the stay I had last time. This just kinda frustrates me to be honest, I just want to get help.

I just want some help cuz I don't know what to do. If you want to help me, please see my last post. I talked to my mom about it, she was respectful and understanding, but OCD just won't let me move on. I don't know what to do, my therapist said that if it doesn't bother me and I already talked to my mom, then I should just let go, but every interaction I have with her makes me wonder if it is appropriate. Like today she came into my room and laid in my bed and hugged me (she was really sweet) I am sick and with my teeth hurting like hell, headaches and she came to ask me if I am okay and say goodbye cuz she was going to work. But OCD keep saying "She shouldn't enter your room without permission, let alone lie next to you, that's inappropriate and she's a pervert." I once talked to her about it and she said "You think I am a pervert." and hearing that coming out of her mouth was destructive, because she is not one, she is respectful and caring, but she obviously noticed me stopping to do the things I used to do around her and me not wanting to be close to her due to OCD, and I heard how sas she was, imagine wanting to hug your daughter and give her goodnight kisses and she telling you to stop cuz she thinks it is inappropriate, and she knows it is because of OCD and not my true desires, I want to life with her like I always lived, hugging her, laughing with her. So please, someone help to get over it. I am tired.

I had like a really bad argument with my mom basically about her complaining about my “attitude” and “constant arrogance” like okay firstly 😭 yes i do have an attitude and am irritable but im not THAT bad 😭🙏 she was saying that im a “pest” and that “its not enjoyable to live with someone who makes other people miserable” like 😅🧍‍♀️ oh ☺️ and then i tell her that i know im struggling and that im going to therapy to try to get better and trying to possibly get a diagnosis and she says “your generation just wants something to deal with. You want something to be wrong with you. ‘Trying to get better’ isn’t good enough… would you be able to stand someone like yourself? You’re just choosing this antisocial, narcissistic behaviour and harass everyone… You need to pull yourself together. No matter how much effort we put into you, you will never be happy. You want some medicine? Some diagnosis? Because that will solve everything?” 😭😭😭 and the way she said “some medication”- she sounded so disgusted and appalled and now i feel ashamed… i mean im not officially diagnosed with ocd and it is never my intention to self diagnose- but im sorry its VERY obvious when you have ocd and know of ocd- its so distinct. Everything- the compulsions, reassurance, intrusive thoughts, themes, patterns, perfectionism- but she has me overthinking- what if i dont have ocd 😭 and ive just been lying to myself and everyone maybe its not ocd and im just sick in the head or trying to self sabotage- and especially when my supposed ocd is calm or not as loud i get so anxious “what if i dont have ocd…”

She laughed and said that everyone has these thoughts "i didn't tell her about the REALLY fucked up thoughts i experience cuz i was kinda scared" and then she said it's the demon just say ur prayers and they'll go away Even though i kept on trying and trying to convince her that they're clearly not normal but she kept on refusing and it kinda sounded like she didn't want to admit and believe that her daughter has a mental illness which sucks