I am like freaking out because I’m the past there were a couple of women who I like really looked up to and wanted their approval. I would really look forward to seeing them and talking to them, but now I heard that looking back lesbians realized that they disguised their crushes by saying them just wanted to be like the girls but they actually wanted to be with them. Now I am so worried that the feeling we’re too intense to be just admirations and they were actually crushes even though I never thought about them romantically or sexually. Ugh I just give up with this whole thing. I am so depressed

Yeah you are right thank you for the clarity. I literally go over my feelings about them like a million times a day and I still can’t remember feeling anything remotely sexual or romantic towards them. I just wanted to like have conversations with them and stuff. I really appreciate your help

@Anonymous Happy to help! Trust yourself. It’s not always easy but you know yourself the best <3

Wait seriously? What was it like for you? I am so glad I’m not alone

I have no idea it really sucks. Like I never ever wanted to be with the girls I idolized I literally just wanted them to like me. I am so tired of all this

@Anonymous Same, i also idolized them a lot. And I mean I was obsessed over looking like them and behaving like them. I have no idea why I was like that. It makes me really scared to think about now

I was the same way and my hocd uses this as evidence as well. I admired girls who I thought were pretty, popular, and so on. I wanted to be like them, fit in, and even feel competitive. Hocd says it was just me having crushes and obsessions. Now it just feels like I’m being inauthentic and like I’m lying to hide who I really am. It makes me feel so sad and scared.

@Corie This is exactly how I feel

Yeah so it’s happened a couple of times. The first one like she was older than me but like in my class and I thought she was so cool and everyone really looked up to her. So like I would talk to her a lot in class and I just really wanted her to like me for some reason. I would really look forward to seeing her and I would “fantasize” about having conversations with her but like literally nothing more. I just wanted to be friends with her, but like now I am so worried that because I was so like obsessed with her that it was actually a crush but it was completely platonic so it really confuses me. Like I didn’t even want to hug her or anything like that

@Anonymous How old are you? Have you been in a relationship before?

@AJogol I’m 18 and yeah I have been in a couple of relationships

@Anonymous Lucky, I am 19 and never been. I always reject the guys because I lose feelings very quickly. It’s terrifying.. but I have always had guy crushes, but from a distance and in my head.

@AJogol I think I am too anxious to actually be in a relationship. I struggle with any type of relations tho; keeping friends, having boyfriends..

@AJogol Yeah I had one boyfriend who I really liked and I was so sad after we broke up, but then I had another boyfriend who I didn’t like that much and so now my ocd latches onto that like saying I will never really connect with a guy because I am gay